Masturbating At Work

I,m feeling weird and sick right now. I feel barely sick. I feel like I drank out of an old copper mug that was rusty. I don,t know if copper can rust, but I,m sure if it could that it would make me sick if I drank from a container made of it. How about that for a start? I bet you can,t wait to read what comes next. I,m talking to myself. This is ridiculous. I paid ten dollars so I could have a website that nobody will ever see.

Whenever I feel sick I am compelled to drink a lot so I pee a lot because all bad things come out of the pee-hole. Pee comes out of there, sexually transmitted diseases come out of there, babies come out of there (that is only applicable with girl penises), sickness comes out of there if you drink enough water. I tried to look up why you,re supposed to drink a lot of water when you,re sick but I couldn,t. I found an answer online that simply said, ,,So you can pee the sickness out,, which sounds neither professional nor scholarly.

Drunkdriver - My Chinese Sister
I don,t think I,m really sick though. I,m probably just confused. I have only eaten bread or things that are made out of bread for the past five years so maybe what I,m feeling is my body begging for actual food. I did eat part of a baby goat the other day. Maybe my stomach isn,t capable of handling tender goat flesh. Who knows? A doctor would know but I,m not about to be a grown up and schedule anything. Besides, I bet I,ll feel better by tomorrow morning after I eat a lot more bread and probably potatoes or something. As long as it,s beige, I,ll put it into my body.

When I was in high school there was a kid named Larry that would eat weird stuff if you gave him money. I don,t think he was really poor or anything, he just didn,t have a personality and that was the way he liked to get attention. I saw him eat a smashed banana that somebody had thrown in the dirt on the baseball diamond once. Baseball dirt is the worst. It,s so coarse. It,s like cat litter. I wonder what Larry is doing today. He had very straight, greasy hair.