Pretending To Be Asleep

I need some advice. How do you tell your friend that you hate them now because whenever you hang out with them they are almost constantly using their iPhone instead of actually interacting with a human being? I guess I could just say most of that sentence I just wrote to them, but I was thinking maybe I should write it in a card or maybe frost it onto the top of a cake or something. I don,t know. Maybe I should send him an email that gets my point across but uses a lot of smiley faces and hearts and stuff so it,ll be fun to read.

There are so many different ways to go about it. It,s tough. It,s pretty annoying to hang out with anybody who is super attached to a screen though. My old sweet roommate couldn,t talk or hear if he looked at a screen. My current roommate can talk but he can,t hear if there is even so much as a microwave timer display in front of him. It,s a strange thing. I know that I can multitask and hear and speak and look at something digital simultaneously, but maybe I am the anomaly. I hope not.

Steely Dan - Countdown To Ecstasy
I don,t actually hate my friend that loves his iPhone more than people. I just don,t know if he is very cool anymore. I understand using it as a toy when you,re bored or nobody is around, but it is so bizarre to me to use it whenever there,s a free moment. Maybe he has been bored his whole life and the iPhone is the exact thing that he,s always needed to fill that hole in his life. I don,t really think that,s true. We used to smash bottles on the ground and make big messes and we had fun then.

I actually am worried about this though. It has completely happened with one friend and it has mostly happened with another friend and now they are both sucky friends to hang out with. They,re not worse people or anything, I just have almost no interest in spending time with them. If it happens to all friends all over the world, then I,ll be out of luck. Maybe you have to consciously make that decision when you get an iPhone. Will you continue acting like a human being and interacting with people in real space or will you look at websites a lot and play games and send text messages forever? Maybe I can,t blame him for choosing his choice over the other. Maybe it makes sense to him because he really likes YouTube. I guess I,ll never know until I frost him that cake and we talk about this via whatever digital format he prefers.