You Had Better Do It

Last week I had to go to a weird training thing for work. It was at a hotel. It was really great. I felt like I was in high school again because I spent most of the seven hours writing mean things to people who were in the room with me. I would write that stuff in the margins of the work book that they gave us. I also drew pictures of cubes because that,s what I learned to draw when I was a kid. I,ve still got it.

My totally gay boss took me to lunch. He chose to go to Chick-fil-A because he used to live in Georgia. They have a lot of different types of sauce there. The person that took my order was very nice. He probably went to the same customer service training as me, but instead of drawing cubes and unfunny jokes all over the place, he paid attention and absorbed the information and became a better person. I have been using the word ,,absorbed,, a lot lately. I don,t think I would ever get hired to work in a restaurant.

Hank Wood & The Hammerheads - Go Home The training thing had two different instructors. One of them sounded like Chris Rock and was kind of cross eyed and the other looked like she had done amateur pornography and loved yelling. They both shopped at Target and both didn,t love any of their children. The Chris Rock impersonator was better because she didn,t stumble over her words the entire time and the yelling lady was worse because she sounded like she had never read a book before. They were a great pair.

There was a girl there who had the biggest cellular phone I have ever seen. It may have been one of the smaller iPads, but I don,t think so. I think I saw her make a call with it. It looked like she was holding a notebook to her head. Maybe she was just holding a notebook to her head and I made everything up.