Fish Hook

I,m leaving today for a big, smelly, expensive trip. I have to give up the comfort of my easy job and nice home and drive around in a turd box of a van for the next thirty days. This is going to be a disaster and I am absolutely going to lose my mind immediately. I,m excited. I,m excited to find out what the inside of a mental institution is like. I love learning new things.

I can,t believe how weak my body is. It always hurts. My back hurts because I have such bad posture. My mouth hurts because I,m always accidentally biting it. My eyes hurt because of the sun. The bottom of my right foot hurts for a reason I have not been able to figure out. I am falling apart so rapidly and there is nothing anybody can do about it because I am too poor to pay them to do something about it.

RAH Band - Going Up I guess that means that I should start doing drugs. I.m not talking about pain killers or vitamins. I,m going to start with the real stuff. I,m going to jump into the deep end. I want to mix heroin and DMT and inject that into my body several times each day. I want to liquify cocaine and drink it like weird milk. I want to die feeling good and forget about my bad posture and ugly teeth.

I probably won,t though. Like I said, I,m too poor for anything. Also, I,m scared of everything. Also, I,m lazy. Also, I,m beautiful. Mostly, I,m lazy. I don,t want to have to figure out how to buy and then use drugs at my age. The window for that to be acceptable has long passed. I am too old to start being reckless. I think you,re supposed to do that before you,re twenty. I can,t remember the last time I was before twenty.

Still

Daylight savings time is so weird and stupid. I hate time traveling, but if I have to time travel, I definitely want to be awake for it and that is just not possible when it takes place at two in the morning. There is no way I am going to stay awake for that. It was very inconsiderate of the founding fathers or whoever invented time travel to set it up so it happens so late. They were a bunch of rude jerks.

I also don,t like that it means that I am confused for several hours after I wake up following the time change. I don,t know what day it is. I don,t remember if I changed the time on my clocks. Everything looks a little dimmer. I hear a ringing in my left ear. I feel really, really hungry. It,s not a great combination and it,s all the time,s fault.

David Borden - Music For Amplified Keyboard Instruments If it were up to me, I would eliminate daylight savings time and if I caught anybody practicing time travel in private, they would be sentenced to life in prison. There wouldn,t be a trial or anything. They would go straight from their living room to their cell. Things would not be great if I were in charge. People would get sick of it very quickly and I would surely be killed in some sort of square. Maybe I would be executed in the quad at a community college.