It Aches

My Death Cab For Cutie cover band had our first real record come out today. That,s pretty neat. I haven,t even seen the album. I guess I,m not one hundred percent sure that it,s not all a big joke yet. The pictures I,ve seen could be fake. You can fake pretty much anything these days. I recently gave somebody some of my pee so he could fake his way into a job that required him not to be addicted to drugs.

I feel like a fat, greasy baby right now for very strange reasons. There is absolutely nothing wrong. Things are very nice and I am happy and I am going to get to eat a cool sandwich in about an hour, but I still feel like a warm turd. I,m pretty sure it,s because I recently enjoyed myself too much. I had too much fun and did too many good things all within a short period of time so now that I,m back to having a good time rather than an excellent time, things don,t feel as cool.

Nicolas Jaar - Nymphs II I guess that,s why people keep doing drugs after the first time. That first rip of the bong is so intense that you spend the rest of your adolescence looking for that same, smelly high. That just proves that happiness and satisfaction and comfort are all drugs and they should all be outlawed.

If it were up to me, happiness would only be available with a prescription. Possession of illegal happiness would be punishable by strict fines and/or jail time. Trafficking happiness could get you up to thirty years. Repeat offenders would be shot in the streets. Happiness would cost millions of dollars and would only be available to the world,s wealthiest, ugliest elite.

Not Busy

I wonder if people make trips to New York City to celebrate September eleventh. They probably do. People probably spend a lot of money to fly there so they can go to the place where those buildings were and act bummed and then eat at Red Lobster and fly home and tell everybody about it. I wonder how many photo albums there are on the internet that are named things like ,,My trip to NYC to mourn 9/11,, or ,,I hate those Iraqis they suck :(,, or ,,My trip to honor the heroes.,, I bet almost half of every online photo album has one of those three names.

The way I am celebrating the lives of all of those people that got smashed to death by planes and buildings is by working today and wondering if I am getting paid time and a half. Does the mail get delivered today? How much of a holiday is this? I don,t think you,re supposed to ask that stuff because it might make it seem like a fake holiday if somebody admits out loud that the mail still gets delivered. Then the terrorists really will have won.

Milk Party - Dos Leches I can barely remember what happened on September eleventh. I was fourteen. I remember watching television in the library at school. It was my first year of high school and I thought it was awesome that classes basically stopped and nobody did any work that day. I thought high school was going to be awesome. I was right. Nobody did any work and everybody graduated.

When I was in middle school people figured out that making bomb threats would shut the school down and nobody would have to do any work so that happened a lot for a while. I think people were calling them in from the pay phone that was at the school. That,s pretty gutsy. I think I only knew one kid with a cellular phone.

Another time part of the school got burnt because a kid dropped his bong in a field. I don,t know if he got in trouble for that. I think he kept going to school with me. There are no repercussions for doing drugs and accidentally burning a big field. That,s what I learned in school. Also, peer pressure isn,t real and kids have sex when they,re really young and it,s gross.