Practicing

I have to work for fifteen hours today. I just got back from the bay. It was gross. One of the trains I took smelled like a forgetful teenager,s hamster cage. I need to take a shower. My apartment was supposed to have the water shut off for the past two days, but it wasn,t. That worries me. Now it,s probably going to shut off when I,m not ready for it and I,ll die.

I prepared so thoroughly for the water to be shut off. I filled a pot with water so I could boil things at a moment,s notice. I made sure I had extra bottles full. I practiced pooping in a diaper so I would be used to it. It was all for nothing, though. Now they,re just going to leave me without precious fluids some day when I,m not expecting it and it will be a disaster. I,m going to end up pooping in the bathtub and trying to mush it down the drain with my heel. 

Tangled Hair - Apples There were way too many people in the bay. Everybody should start killing their firstborns. I didn,t hear as much blaring music from cell phones as I thought I would. There was one dude who was blasting boring rap music, but the real star was some middle age lady who was showing her friend videos that were extremely loud and distorted. I don,t know if it was music or cars crashing, but it sounded like somebody was smashing corrugated metal with a bat while two giant circular saws cut into each other. It was wild and I loved it and I hated it. 

I had to go down there for a work meeting and it took eight hours and now I,m at work for another six hours. It,s crazy. I feel weak and sick and gross and tired. I always feel all of those things, but I don,t like having a legitimate reason for it. I did get a crazy expensive meal out of today, though. I had some fancy noodles with fancy mushrooms. The mushrooms were a bit too fancy for me. I mean, there were way too many mushrooms. Maybe I,m high and that,s why I feel weird. I think normal mushrooms can get you high if you eat fifty of them. 

I Need To Sweep

I wish my body was okay with me pooping only four times each week. I wish it worked like that. I would only ever poop at work. I feel stupid if I poop before or after work because if I would have just done it a little earlier or a little later, I would have been getting paid to do it. That,s all I want in this world. That,s all anybody wants - to get paid to do something that they are passionate about. Plus, when I get paid to poop, I feel like I,m finally putting my degree to good use.

I,m at work right now and I might go force a turd out of my body on principle. Maybe I won,t. A bunch of kids are supposed to be here soon. I don,t want them to show up while I,m ripping a gnarly mess in the bathroom. I don,t like being able to hear people when I,m pooping. I think that,s way worse than people hearing me. A poop closet should be a place of peace, solitude, and contemplation.

Agata - Spike One of my arms has been hurting for a few days. I played badminton and I think I broke every bone and pulled every muscle in my body. That,s what I get for never exercising once in my entire life. It was fun though. I was doing trick shots and pretending that the racquet was a guitar and sweating. I felt alive even though I lost. Nobody was keeping score, but in my heart I felt like I was losing. I always feel like that .