Trying Not To Ruin

My throat is so weird right now. I might be sick, but I don,t really think so. I just think that my throat is being weird. Throats are the least-understood part of the human anatomy. A lot of doctors and professionals will tell you that it,s the brain, but it,s really the throat. It,s so close, yet so far away. We may never fully understand its intricacies and secrets. I am fine with that. I don,t like my throat and I don,t want to know it any better than I already do.

It doesn,t feel like a normal sore throat. It just feels dry all the time. Breathing through my giant nose hurts it. Breathing through my mouth is difficult because I am not a genetic moron. It is a tough situation. I have to sleep with my head under the covers because I have found that that creates a lot of warm air and that makes the stabbing sensation seem less intense.

Lesser, Matmos, Wobbly - Simultaneous Quodlibet I don,t know what to do while I am awake, though. I try to gargle mouthwash and that makes me want to die and throw up. I try to gargle salt water and that makes me want to die and throw up. I made soup today because that is the only medicine I can afford and am willing to take. The celery for the soup only cost ten cents. That was pretty awesome. I could have paid for it with a dime, but I used a credit card instead. I thought that was the grown up thing to do.

Another grown up thing to do is to not have very much money. I know that because I am a grown up and I don,t have very much money. I guess anything I do is a grown up thing to do in that way. Driving long distances is a grown up thing to do. Watching television shows that you don,t like is a grown up thing to do. Using commas rather than apostrophes is a grown up thing to do.

Expenses

Yesterday I went to the dentist even though I was supposed to go today. I think I annoyed the small Asian man that was stabbing my mouth with hooks. I was asking him questions and I don,t think most people do that. Maybe he liked the conversation and he just acts annoyed when he likes things. I bet some people do that sometimes.

I sort of felt like I was harassing him. He put polish on my teeth and after he was finished I asked him if he put polish on my teeth. He told me that he did and I asked him why. He said he wanted to make my teeth ,,smooth,, which I thought was a weird thing to want to do to somebody,s teeth. I asked him if there were any health benefits to putting polish on my teeth and he said no and I think that bothered him. Maybe it seemed like I was trying to devalue his job. I wasn,t really. That job seems dumb already and he probably knows that. He probably just likes money. I bet he buys expensive stuff and breaks it and doesn,t care. That,s why I like him.

White Suns - Sinews
Later, my Death Cab For Cutie cover band played some awful noise on the radio. It was weird and fun and sweaty. I was wearing a purple shirt and I almost never wear purple shirts. I wonder if anybody noticed. We were supposed to be there at five and arrived much later and we were a mess and the guy who set up all the wires and cables was mad. I thought his name was Fenners but it was Fenris and that is not nearly as good. Fenners is a good name for a middle age guy with long, stringy hair who eats warm vegetables out of Tupperware and cusses to himself. I wish his name was Fenners.


After we played some dumb songs they let us be annoying and talk on the radio and that,s just what I did. The worst part about it was that I was in this tiny little room with several other people, some of them cute girls, and I was sweaty and gross and wearing a purple shirt and smelled like hose water. I also read a public service announcement about hepatitis B and I,m worried that everybody thinks I picked that one to read because I have hepatitis.