We changed history today. Well actually, we didn,t really. When I got to the polling place they told me a few things. They said I couldn,t vote because:
A) I am a convicted fellon. (I guess all it takes to be called a convicted felon these days is to just hang out with Blobby, sell drugs at a middle school, kill Tupac, and make it on this weird list called Megan's Law. Whatever.)
B) I am not a legal citizen. (A little known fact about me is that I was born on a commune in Idaho. I am completely undocumented and my real name is Loveweather Unicorn Fist.)
C) I look like a terrorist. (A guy can,t even grow out a beard and wear a turban and wear that same hat that Che Guevara wore and carry the Qur'an and carry bombs and wear a shirt that says "I,m a Terrorist!" without being accused of something.)
So I couldn,t really change history, but I tried. My friend did though. He voted for me to be mayor. I think I have an alright chance.
Black Lips - Good Bad Not Evil
The polling place was weird. I guess it,s pretty hip to vote now. There was this one Beast of Burden there with cool tattoos and bikes with no brakes and a hat too small for his head and rolled up pants. I think his name was Madison. He gave me the cold shoulder but I,ll always look up to him. Sigh. Besides being a mecca for hipster fashion and irony, the place was full of homeless people looking for soup and blankets. It looked like a miniature Loaves and Fishes. They were nice enough though. A cute young homeless couple invited us to this 80s dance party and this guy named Francis, house. We couldn,t go because we were too busy either voting for our proud white leader McCain or being escorted out of the building because we,re not American enough to vote. We tried to find that party after we rogged the vode but had no luck. You know how those parties are, always trying to look so inconspicuous and hidden. They were probably just elitest jerks anyway.
I really hope John Kerry wins. I think he could take the primaries this year and pull the hat-trick.
Sincerely,
The Very Next Mayor of The Wiggle Worm Express
1 comment:
Terrorists are terrorists are terrorists are black. So don't try to be smoking me with all of this "I'm normal and white and a terrosist" scuzz, because we all know that god-loving real Americans know another god-loving real American when they see 'em. I love McCain so much because socialism's for fags.
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