A Drug

Last night I went to a weirdo noise show in a town next to the town that I grew up in. It was full of dads wearing sandals. That made me kind of uncomfortable because I don,t really like seeing dads, toenails unless they are my dad,s and even then I only tolerate it because he has given me so much money throughout my life. Apparently ,,tolerate,, only has one L. I had no idea.

My favorite guy there was a dad wearing cutoff cargo shorts. Maybe they weren,t actually cutoff. They could have been made to look like that. That sounds much more likely. He was shopping at Target with his fourteen year old son who he got to see for two weekends out of the month and he saw those and could not resist buying them. ,,My son,s friends will totally want to come over and hang out at my house when they see me wearing these,,, he thought. ,,I,ll be the coolest dad around. I bet I,ll look like I,m not even old enough to drink when I,m wearing these. I,ll get carded everywhere I go.,, Then he thought, ,,I wonder if I could show my mugshot and the police report from one of my DUIs as valid form of ID.,,

Kaki King - ...Until We Felt Red He was wearing sandals and he used those sandals to carefully rock back and forth on a plastic whammy pedal while he strummed the same chord for fifteen minutes over a short looping beat that was playing on his phone. Needless to say, it was exactly what you would expect from a dad who just started playing guitar eight months ago to impress his son who doesn,t care about him because he still remembers when he was a little kid and his dad was drunk and fighting with his mom while driving and they crashed and now he has that weird, red scar on his leg.

My friend played some music and I left right after because I was worried that my facial hair would start to get patchy and my clothing would turn orange or tie dye and I would start being really into organic coffee and music comprised entirely of hand drums. Only a few of those changes have occurred since last night so I,m glad I left when I did. I could be wearing a sarong right now if I had waited around.