Vegetable Medley

I live in California and right now everybody here is pretending that they like baseball. This means that anywhere there is a television, people are screaming and yelling and clapping and wearing hats at nights. It,s all very bizarre and make believe to me. Last night some of my neighbors were yelling mean, taunting things at the television. I bet they know that the people they see on the screen can,t hear them very well. I wonder why they still yell. Maybe they ignore their conscience when they do it. They sort of seem like the kind of people to do that based on their extremely long t-shirts and denim shorts that look like weird tubes. They dress like sixth graders in the nineties who all have older brothers who smoke cigarette butts that they find on the ground. 

The other night my Death Cab For Cutie cover band played a show in a big room to one person and that one person was friends with us so we played to zero strangers. I guess that,s not totally true. There was also a guy in the room who was packing stuff up and trying to leave. He must have heard some of the noises we were making. I don,t think he wanted to though, so I won,t count him.

Charlie Byrd - Mr. Guitar I drove over an hour to get to that stupid show. It was at a bar in a small town on a Sunday night - the perfect storm. I was talking to a friend of mine outside and a kid  interrupted us to say that his name was Rage. I was embarrassed when he introduced himself. I hope he was too. He said that he used to have a mohawk for a while because he was a punker, but then he cut it out because "I don,t need a label, I,m just me." You,re just you - a kid wearing pajama pants and a stained jacket who calls himself Rage.

Rage didn,t even watch us play. I think I heard him say that he was underage. Whoops. I hope Rage is going to have a happy and safe holiday season. I bet he is going to dress up as a drunk, slightly racist teenager for Halloween. I bet his mom has the jawline and bone structure of an alcoholic. I bet his siblings look like they have only eaten candy their entire lives.