You Are Wrong

It,s autumn. You know what that means. It means that my hands are so dry and I sniff constantly. It also means that I get to finally dress like a human being again. No more sloppy t-shirts. No more bare skin. I,m wearing a sweater right now even though it,s way too hot for it. I,m wearing it on principle. I was driving earlier and had to turn on the air conditioner because I am a stubborn idiot. I look nice, though.

To celebrate this new season, the person in the apartment next to mine invited their weirdo relative who has a Monster Energy Drink tattoo to stay with them for a few days. They made sure to tell them to bring their ugly, screaming child with them as well. I don,t know if that giant baby has a energy drink logo tattooed on its body, but if I had to guess, I would certainly say that it did.

Raw Nerve - Every Problem Solved I don,t understand that baby. I walked passed the open door of their apartment a little while ago and I saw it. It was wearing a diaper and a collared shirt. It was gigantic. It could have been three or four years old. It was drinking from a bottle filled with what I can only assume was Monster Energy Drink and it was staring blankly at a television screen.

I hear it constantly when it is over there. It runs and screams, but it doesn,t ever scream words. It only knows sounds. I have never heard it make any sound that came close to resembling a word in any language. That,s the part that doesn,t make sense to me. It is large enough to know words, but it refuses. It just emits long, pulsating noise cubes that pierce the walls and terrify me. Now that I,m thinking about it, I,m not even sure that it,s a child. I suppose a shaved raccoon would possess all of the same qualities that I just described. The neighbors are harboring a shaved wild animal in their home.