Not Anymore

Today is Black Friday - the anniversary of the day that everybody in Europe died from rat bites. That happened exactly one hundred years ago today. People celebrate this horrible occasion by sitting outside of buildings all night and trying to find rats and kill them. If they kill a rat, they get to go inside the building and buy something.

Most people don,t really do the rat killing anymore, though. That,s sort of an old, forgotten part of the holiday. Most people just wait outside of buildings at night and then buy things, but they think about rats while they,re doing it. It,s the thought that counts.

Perfect Pussy - I Have Lost All Desire For Feeling I,ve never celebrated Black Friday. I,ve killed and eaten plenty of rats, but never for any special reason. I just do it to live. There,s no real need to stay up all night in the freezing wind to do it. You can do it in the comfort of your own home if it,s filthy enough. Plus, you can honor the billions of dead Europeans in other ways. You can talk in a funny accent for a little while.

I wrote all of this with a funny accent. I know it,s difficult to read an accent sometimes, but as I read it, I can hear it in my brain box. Celebrating things internally is much more dignified and respectful. It,s like having an erection during class and not making a big deal about it.