A Mistake

I just got back from the land of moisture and lizards. What a place. It was hot and raining and covered in lizards and old people. I had a great time. I ate a fried tomato and watched a lot of movies and got a red hat that says „sauce racing„ on it. What more could I ask for?

It was so warm there. Now I,m back and it,s freezing. I could see my breath in my apartment all day yesterday. It was great. One of my hands is really cold and it won,t warm up. I turned my oven on and left the door open to try to make my home more comfortable, but it didn,t work.

Twerk - Now I,m Rendered Useless I wonder if heaven is really cold. It probably is. It,s the opposite of hell and hell is made out of hot lava so it has to be cold up there. Everybody wears sweaters and there are blankets everywhere. That,s my heaven - a place so cold that you are uncomfortable if you are not in bed.

When I was in Lizardville, I went to a restaurant and some ugly goon asked some other ugly goon if she would marry him. She agreed. What a couple of fools. I ate a bunch of soft pretzels that night so there were two highlights - the beginnings of a future divorce and a bunch of soft pretzels.