Cutting Things

I just opened this up to write one of these stupid things and now I have to poop. Let,s see if I can make it through all of this without having to take a turd break. I bet I can. I,m pretty good about holding waste in my body. I wouldn,t say that I have any records or anything, but I sometimes like to challenge myself with things like that. Nope, I am going to go poop right now. You should take a break from reading this for a few minutes to simulate what it was just like for me to take a break for a few minutes from writing this. This is just turning into another poop log. I already have one of those. I do not need another.

The kitchen at my work is being remodeled so I don,t have a place to cook anything when I,m there. I also still don,t have very much money. It,s not a good combination. Today I went to the store to buy a loaf of bread with quarters so I would have something to eat. I eat bread and water. That,s not abnormal for me, but usually I eat it in other shapes like pasta or crackers or biscuits. I don,t normally eat bread in biscuit form. That was a lie.

John Coltrane - Coltrane,s Sound Last night at work I didn,t eat anything. I watched a barely-funny television show in place of nutrients. That,s what kept me going. I think I watched five episodes and laughed twice. That is a really bad ratio for a show that is billed as a comedy. That,s probably a standard ratio. That,s probably a current season of The Simpsons ratio. Yikes.

I am worried that somebody is going to complain about seeing me eat huge chunks of bread while I,m at work. There is no dedicated eating space at my job so I do it at the front desk for the whole world to see. I,m sure I look like a maniac. Nobody eats cantaloupe-sized pieces of French bread without the accompaniment of anything. I am also scared that somebody is going to complain about the super noisy music I,m playing right now. Bread and jazz are a bit too risky for this place. I need to get a job at a bread and jazz factory.

Taking A Quick Dip

Sushi is such a bummer. It is way too expensive and has never filled anybody up. It doesn,t even fill up those waste-y, semitranslucent girls in those porn videos I don't watch because they scream and moan really weirdly. It,s super breathy and high pitched but kind of infantile sounding. That is an instant boner killer. I guess any weird noise can be a boner killer though - farting, a loud clap, garbage men talking outside of my window, a homeless woman fighting with something. These can all be great sounds but they have to be heard in the appropriate setting.

I remember telling this kid I knew in high school that I would pay him if got his slightly younger sister to fart in front of me. I only ever mentioned it to him when they were both around so she would hear me propositioning him. He always said no and acted like he was too cool. It,s not like Stephanie farting on me would soil his familiy,s name. I probably wouldn,t have even told that many people.

Yesterday I bought sushi for four dollars and it had the equivalent mass of two normal bites of a sandwich. I hope I have finally learned my lesson. Sushi is a waste. I know Japanese people are usually dead on when it comes to everything but I think they messed this one up. Maybe it,s just because I,m a dumb American and want everything served on top of a pizza.

Caving - U.S. Caves
Other than dumb rice and seaweed, I also sampled one of Japan,s most famous dishes known simply as ,,International Cheese,,. It was a piece of bread in the shape of an old shoe with some cheese and grease in the middle/bottom. It was pretty good. I would eat it again if I had to. It was the same price as the other stuff and way more filling.

I think I am at the point where I am much more concerned with quantity rather than quality. I,m sure it,s because I,m so poor. I generally buy food that is all the same color (beige) close to the same flavor (bland) filling (diarrhea) and cheap (I need to try and get food stamps again). That means I exist thanks to pasta and potatoes. I thought I was going to list a bunch of foods but I could only think of two things that I eat. Yikes.