Luxuriant Softness

I went to a gigantic metal show the other night. That was strange. The show itself wasn,t that strange, but it was strange that I went to a metal show. I don,t even listen to metal. The place was completely full of weirdos and everything was too loud and one of the people I went with got a stomachache from eating burnt yet undercooked chicken at a convenience store. It was a weird mix of things.

The best part of the night was watching some fourteen year old rip a huge vape load and then blow the smoke directly into the back of the head of the stranger in front of him. That guy,s hair was steaming and smoking for several minutes afterward. I had never seen anything like it. It was like he was a cartoon that was really mad. There truly was steam coming off of his brain. He probably got contact high via osmosis.

Pregnant Women - The Bagel Town Diaries The other best part of the night was getting home so late and being so tired that I didn,t even brush my teeth before going to bed. I haven,t done that in a while. I felt like a kid again. It was nice. I liked knowing that my teeth were getting destroyed at a faster rate that night because I was lazy. It feels good to destroy your own body on purpose.

I had to work the next morning at seven, but it didn,t matter because my new job is so insane that I only have to work for about the first quarter of the time I,m there. I don,t make any money, but I guess that,s to be expected. I am going to die soon because I,m going to run out of money, I signed up for food stamps, but they,re going to have to send them to my grave.

Hot Pepper

I don,t know if it,s like this everywhere, but in the town where I spent the first twenty years of my life there is a county fair every summer and it is filled with absolutely wonderful people. I remember going when I was much younger because rides that make you feel sick are fun and all of the cute girls from school would be wearing the shirts that the teachers said they couldn,t wear because it showed too much of their belly button piercings.

That was a long time ago though. Things have changed. I don,t care about rides anymore because I can drive and that is the coolest ride of all because if I want, I can crash or get really close to crashing because I am very tired and I keep taking micro naps while driving even though you,re not really supposed to do that. There isn,t a ride at any fair in the world that can make me feel as alive as almost smashing into a tree because I fell asleep while driving. Also, I don,t care about looking at girls in ugly clothes anymore because I have a computer and I can shut the door to my bedroom whenever I want.

Cornelius - Point It has been quite a few years since I,ve been there. I have no idea how long. Maybe it,s been ten years. I bet it,s close to ten years. I am old. I bet the fifteen year old me would think I was dumb because I am not even strong or cool or anything and I don,t skateboard anymore so he would think I was a corporate sellout. Little does he know that I am actually just very lazy. Take that, idiot. You,re going to grow up to be a balding, weak, insecure, mean, lazy nerd.

I think I might go to that fair this year. It,s been a kind of long time since somebody has called me a fag and really meant it. I want to see families of Juggalos drinking vodka out of water bottles while buying eleven dollar ICP stickers for their dirty Jeeps. I want to see sixteen year old girls puking because they ate way too many mushrooms. I want to see the scarred gut of a single mother protruding over her belt as she yanks the hand of a her neglected child away from what looks like a stack of rusted metal behind which a one-armed man is standing who is trying to sell oddly sized t-shirts with a yellow cat on them that says ,,Garpheild.,, I want to smell the stink of undercooked chicken and overpriced pizza. I want all of that. Call it nostalgia. Call it stupidity. I want to punish myself for what I have become.