Fixer

I,m having a sleepover party at my friend,s house because my landlord called me yesterday morning and told me that they were wrong about not having to work on the pipes in my apartment and that I had to get out of there right away and stay out of there for three days so a bunch of weird strangers can walk around in there and look at my stuff and give me a new toilet. It was pretty wild. I was specifically told that my apartment was the only apartment that didn,t need any serious work done. Then, with no notice or preparation, I had to take everything out of my bathroom and leave.

They wanted me to stay in a hotel of their choosing, but after reading a few reviews on the place that contained such red flags as ,,vomit,, ,,cockroaches,, ,,blood,, ,,putrid,, ,,aggressive homeless people,, and ,,incurable disease,, I decided it would be best to burden one of my sweet, hospitable friends and beg them to let me stay with them for a few days. Luckily, they obliged. 

Secret Mommy - Plays

I gathered my remaining clean underwear and tried to hide all of my most stealable stuff in my room and left. I,m most worried about my plants. Nobody is going to water my tender, young basil for a few days. I barely got any sleep last night because I was so worried about my sweet sprouts. I really hope they make it. I also really hope that the plumbers clean up after themselves. I trust that they will have to flush a test turd to see how the new tubes work. I took all of the toilet paper out of there so I don,t know what they,re going to do about that. I wish them luck. 

My friend,s house is crazy. It has central air and they blast it all the time. It,s amazing. I was almost cold last night with that thing blowing. It is a luxury that I will not soon forget. In an attempt to show my appreciation for their overwhelming kindness and hospitality and air conditioning, I took out some garbage and washed a dish or two and cleaned the stove. I feel like that was a good start, but there is still more to do. The next step in my thank you mission is to start slipping expensive vitamins into their food to make them stronger and healthier than ever before. After that, I will take a short trip into the future and bring back a list of winning lottery numbers. It is the least I can do.