Returning To The Same Place

I,m pretty certain that my Death Cab For Cutie cover band will finally be finished with this dumb record this week. We gave ourselves two weeks to do it and it,s only taken four so far. Not bad. We have had a few days off, but not many. I can,t wait to have the label tell us that they don,t like it and they,re not going to put it out or pay for it. That,ll be a fun holiday surprise.

Speaking of holidays, I,m baking a pie right this very minute. Tomorrow is the big day. It,s the day where people eat the worst of all circular foods - pies. I don,t like or eat pies because I,m not a heathen, but I will be spending the day with those who do so I figured I,d do the right thing and make them a gross, brown circle to consume. Also, I think I might be good at making these brown circles and I like it when I can impress families. I don,t know for sure, though. I have never tasted one of my own creations. Like I said, I am not a heathen.

Arthur Russell - Another Thought Speaking of holidays again, it,s mandarin season. The most holy season of the year. I have eaten quite a normal amount of mandarins for this time of year. That means that I,m pretty close to finishing my first ten pound bag that I got a few days ago. This year,s haul is exceptional. I am very impressed. I hope to get at least seventy more pounds in and out of my body before the season ends. It,s a lofty, but completely realistic goal as long as I stay focused.

I have been eating nothing but mandarins and Indian food for the past few days. The mandarins are self explanatory, but the Indian slop is new for me. My dear friend recently procured a nice little book full of recipes involving way too many ingredients and words that I will never pronounce correctly. While sneakily looking through it when his back was turned, I found one that looked almost manageable for somebody of my limited ability and intelligence so I took a blurry picture of the recipe and tried to make it for myself. Miraculously, it came out looking and tasting edible so obviously, I tried it again the next and to my surprise, it worked out again. My turds hate me and I hate them.

Unfettered

My Death Cab For Cutie cover band has been recording every day for the past eight days. It,s wild. We have never done anything even close to resembling work and now we,ve been kind of working for a few hours each day for the past week. What an incredible change. What an unprecedented amount of effort on our part.

I had to pretend to know how to sing for the past two days. Luckily, there is a little thing called computers that can take my ugly warbling and magically turn it into smooth crooning. I tried my best and failed terribly. It was exactly what I expected to happen so I,m not too upset about it. The end result should sound like a bunch of robots anyway so it will be fine.

Young Thug - Slime Season 2 What,s not fine is my body. I ruined it yesterday. I am way too old to be shouting and yelping like a nubile weirdo. I,m a weak, ailing weirdo. I need to tone it down. My throat feels like wet cement and I think I pulled every muscle in my eyes and back. I didn,t know that I had muscles in my eyes and I get I still don,t know for sure, but it definitely feels like I pulled an eye yesterday. It,s not great.

What is great is that we,re almost done making this mess. I mean, I guess we are done making this mess. Now it,s up to the magic of computers and underpaid friends who know how to use those computers to make it as listenable as possible. We poorly did our part and now the world has to clean up after us.

Very Good Luck

My days have been so confusing recently. I get up early and go to work and nothing happens there because it,s so slow. The other day I didn,t get a phone call for six hours. It was wild. I thought I was the only person alive. I didn,t move at all.

After work, I go home and eat something and go to bed at around four. Then I wake up an hour or two later and because my Death Cab For Cutie cover band is making a new album right now, I go record for a few hours and end up going to bed way later than I normally do. It feels like every day is actually two days. My work week has already been four days and it,s only Tuesday.

Oneohtrix Point Never - Garden Of Delete I don,t know what,s going on. For some reason, recording is making me extremely tired. We started on Halloween and we finished at around seven and I fell asleep at eight. That,s insanely early even for me. The same thing happened the next night. I think my body hates recording. I know it hates loud sounds. Maybe it,s punishing me by shutting down earlier and earlier each day. The punishment fits the crime.

Luckily, I haven,t gotten sick like I thought I was going to. I feel like I,m dancing on the cusp, though. I love that cusp. That,s where I spend almost all of my time. I don,t feel sick, but my farts smell like I,m sick. I,m worried that I,m going to get in trouble for damaging company property because I keep farting in my chair at work and it smells so bad that it,s starting to discolor the material.