White Shirt

What a day. Am I right? I slept in, ate some bread, went grocery shopping, and got one hundred dollars cash back that was supposed to last me until my next pay check in two weeks. The best part of the day was that I got my cash back and now it doesn,t exist anymore. I have no idea what happened. I almost never lose things so I don,t think that is the case.

My favorite theory that I have come up with so far is that when I was putting the groceries in my car, a homeless man approached me and asked me for fifty cents so he could buy a taco. Being a lover of tacos myself, I gave him two quarters that were in my car. I leaned in to get them and that,s when he must have picked my pocket. He was very good. I didn,t feel a thing. As soon as I gave him the two quarters, he dashed across the street.

Henry Flynt - Glissando No. 1 I thought he was walking away especially fast for a homeless person with a weird eye, but I figured that maybe he just really wanted a taco. There was a Mexican restaurant across the street and he was headed in that direction. A few minutes later, I noticed that my money was gone and I formulated this insane theory in order to feel less guilty about losing such a large sum of money.

If that guy really did pick my pocket, I,m proud of him. I never hear of that happening anymore. That is a dead or dying art and if he is the last of his kind, I hope he makes a grand living from his profession. I would much rather have him steal my money than clumsily drop it in a parking lot and have some moron pick it up and be rewarded for doing nothing. At least the thief put some effort into gaining his reward. The sloppy hag who picks up a crumpled bill from the street deserves it less than anybody.

In Front Of People

I just went to a place to get a piece of bread and some sauce for lunch but they didn,t have any. I felt like such a fool. I hate asking for things at places and not getting those things because the places are out of them. It,s somehow worse when I,m asking for something like bread. That,s prison food. Every place that exists should at least have some bread. They had no bread.

When I was in fake college I used to eat a loaf of bread everyday. I would go to a grocery store in the morning on the way to class and buy a loaf of French bread and jam it in my backpack and eat hunks of it as I walked in between classes. I would eat bread a drink water and go to class for eight hours a day with no breaks. I had headaches every single day and I could never figure out why. 

Pregnant Women - Sunbathe

Recently I discovered eggs. I knew that eggs were around, but I hadn,t tried cooking and eating an egg in a very long time. That all changed the other day when I was cooking my doctor-recommended daily pasta meal and found an egg. I guess I was feeling gutsy because I decided to eat it even though eggs aren,t good. Also, it was in a small carton with three other eggs that were shattered and the expiration date was the day before the day I decided to eat it and the shell wasn,t even nicely decorated or anything. All of these were very bad signs, but I decided to go ahead with the eggventure and egg up my pasta which I had read about doing in science fiction books before.

 I cooked the pasta like normal and after it was finished I smashed that dumb egg into a bowl and squished it around and threw it in there and hoped that the residual noodle heat would make the egg so it couldn,t kill me if I ate it. It was pretty good. I think that,s mostly because I couldn,t taste the egg. Thinking about it now, I can,t say for sure that the egg even made it into the pasta. There was such a small difference. Maybe it all just stuck to the bottom of the pan. Who cares? It wasn,t my dumb egg. You shouldn,t have read any of this if you,re vegan.