White Shirt

What a day. Am I right? I slept in, ate some bread, went grocery shopping, and got one hundred dollars cash back that was supposed to last me until my next pay check in two weeks. The best part of the day was that I got my cash back and now it doesn,t exist anymore. I have no idea what happened. I almost never lose things so I don,t think that is the case.

My favorite theory that I have come up with so far is that when I was putting the groceries in my car, a homeless man approached me and asked me for fifty cents so he could buy a taco. Being a lover of tacos myself, I gave him two quarters that were in my car. I leaned in to get them and that,s when he must have picked my pocket. He was very good. I didn,t feel a thing. As soon as I gave him the two quarters, he dashed across the street.

Henry Flynt - Glissando No. 1 I thought he was walking away especially fast for a homeless person with a weird eye, but I figured that maybe he just really wanted a taco. There was a Mexican restaurant across the street and he was headed in that direction. A few minutes later, I noticed that my money was gone and I formulated this insane theory in order to feel less guilty about losing such a large sum of money.

If that guy really did pick my pocket, I,m proud of him. I never hear of that happening anymore. That is a dead or dying art and if he is the last of his kind, I hope he makes a grand living from his profession. I would much rather have him steal my money than clumsily drop it in a parking lot and have some moron pick it up and be rewarded for doing nothing. At least the thief put some effort into gaining his reward. The sloppy hag who picks up a crumpled bill from the street deserves it less than anybody.

I Do Not Like The Smell Of It

I have to go to San Francisco tomorrow. I have to go there for a meeting for work. I have ridiculous facial hair right now. I am going to look like a crazy person and they,re going to fire me. I get paid for gas and tolls and time though. So it,ll all be worth it. If I don,t get paid for parking, it will not all be worth it. I had better get money for that or I,ll be losing my job for nothing.

The meeting is about my health insurance. I think it will be very boring. I hope they have snacks. I hope they have poppy seed muffins that aren,t very sweet. I used to work photographing college graduations with my friend and we would have to get there really early - way before the ceremony started. There was a room in the back where they would have breakfast food for all of the crew and we would go back there and eat a bunch of stuff and then throw stuff at the walls when nobody else was in there.

Midnight Star - Planetary Invasion We were both adults when we did this. We weren,t in high school. I must have been twenty and my friend is older than I am. We got paid to tell people where to stand to get their picture taken before they got their diploma and throw strawberries at a wall and make them explode. That,s what I hope the meeting is like tomorrow. I want to throw some food at a thing. I haven,t done that while getting paid in a long time. Last night at work, I threw a noodle in the trash, but it wasn,t the same because it was a dirty noodle. I want to waste good food and make money. That,s the American dream.

I need to try and figure out something fun to do while I,m down there. Maybe I,ll eat some food. Maybe I,ll visit a friend. Maybe I,ll try to sell drawings outside of the MOMA. I think that,s how Michelangelo got his start. His full name was Michelangelo Jackson.