Vacuuming

Meeting friends from the internet is so bizarre. I,ve done it a few times and it is never as comfortable as it should be. It doesn,t matter if you have been talking to them for years and you know a ton about them. It doesn,t matter if you,ve cybered with each other until the wee hours of the mornings. It,s always weird meeting them in person for the first time.

Their mouths always move differently than you thought they would. They have a slightly different voice. You finally get to see their mannerisms and weird hand movements that they use while they speak. You find out what their breath smells like. You,re supposed to find out all of that stuff when you first talk to somebody, not three months after you started talking to them. It,s too much superficial introductory information at once that late in the game.

William Basinski - Watermusic II I met somebody who I knew exclusively on the internet last night. It was weird and cool mixed. The cool part was that my friend was very nice. The weird part was that we hung out at a show and then went to eat with a bunch of people and I didn,t know anybody and I went to the bathroom and when I came back, everybody was gone.

That was crazy. I kind of liked it because it was so weird. I didn,t say anything when I got up to pee all over the sink in a public restroom so maybe they thought that I was just bailing without saying anything so they didn,t feel bad about leaving without saying anything. Maybe they just hated me and didn,t want to have to deal with me a second more. Either way, it was the right choice.

Several Weird Notes

I went to a job interview today. I can,t believe I was a little nervous about it. It was dumb. The president of the company interviewed me. He was wearing a baseball hat. One of the employees is a gross dog. The carpet was in tatters. The receptionist looked like a melting pepperoni. There were crumpled papers everywhere.

He didn,t even know what questions to ask me. The first thing he said was that he hated doing interviews and hiring people. I laughed right in his face. He kept asking me what other questions he should ask me. I told him that I wasn,t hired yet so I wasn,t going to do his job for him. Then I laughed right in his stupid face again.

Jon Hopkins - Immunity I asked him what benefits the company offered and he said that employees get some holidays off. That was so insulting that I actually liked it a little. I bet he pays them in expired wartime food rations. I bet they are all related to him. I bet they ate the other dog that used to be employed there last year for Thanksgiving dinner.

I knew that I wouldn,t take the job right after the interview started, but I sat through the whole thing to find out how bad it would get. I was hoping that the dog would poop on the carpet and then eat it and then throw it up, but that didn,t happen. At least, it didn,t happen while I was there. It probably happened right after I left.