Cotton

That festival that my Death Cab For Cutie cover band played the other day was out of control. We played on such a huge, loud stage to so few people. Also, we did a pretty bad job. That was cool. At least nobody saw us. That,s not true. Six people watched us from the mud and several workers were required to be within earshot of us. I felt bad for them all.

Apparently, the festival wasn,t allowing anybody inside until we were almost finished playing. I understand where they were coming from. They wanted to protect the festival goers and spare them from our subpar performance. I think that,s commendable. They did the right thing.

Pole - Wald This meant we made noise for thirty minutes while looking at three of our friends who had somehow managed to sneak in and a large muddy field. They had sprayed some kind of semi-toxic liquid all over the ground right before we played. It was dark red and viscous. It may have been used motor oil. The fumes were severe and everybody in attendance complained of searing headaches and temporary blindness. I guess they did it to raise awareness or something.

After we played, I got to eat a bunch of weird hamburgers for free. I also got a haircut. There was a tent full of maniacs cutting people,s hair. I was sweating and encrusted with salt, but some nerd still managed to chop my hairs off. It was not a great experience. I think I,ll continue to mess up my own hair, thank you very much.

At The Same Time

I have to go to a big, filthy music festival this weekend. My Death Cab For Cutie cover band is playing. I wouldn,t be going otherwise. There is no way I,d pay one hundred dollars to be surrounded by loud people in t-shirts who I don,t like or respect. I wouldn,t even do that if it only cost ten dollars.

Luckily, it costs negative dollars. That means that we tricked those big wigs into giving us money to suffer in the dirt and heat for a day. What a bunch of generous fools. I can,t understand why they let us do this. There is no way we are going to make them any money. They,re losing a ton of money because of us.

DJ Richard - Grind Maybe they know that. Maybe that,s why they,re making us play at the absolute worst possible time. We play on a Sunday morning. Everybody is going to be in church while we play. It,ll be pretty bizarre to play on a weird stage during the day to nobody. We usually play in a small room at night to nobody. At least one of the three variables will be the same. That,ll make it a little more comfortable.

I,m most excited about getting free food there. I assume that there is going to be free food for bands. I imagine it as a sort of trough system. All the bands line up and feed from the trough or ,,long bucket,, as they call it. I can,t wait to sneeze on everything.