Too Full

I went to a big, gross music festival the other day. It was big and gross. There were four inches of finely powdered dirt all over the ground which was immediately kicked up into a swirling hurricane of allergies and brown snot. It was not a great place to be. The only reason I was there was because my work offered me free passes and I instinctively said I wanted them because I like free things that are worth a lot of money even if I don,t like the actual things.

The worst part, other than the subpar performances and having my lungs filled with filthy dirt was that one hundred percent of the festival goers were the exact type of people who made fun of me in high school. I was surrounded by brightly colored tank tops, backwards hats, bulging muscles, really bad facial hair, and an overwhelming stink that was a perfect mixture of caramel corn and old weed. It was like if a high schooler hot boxed one of those carts in the mall that sells flavored corns. It was awful.

Sam Amidon - Lily-O Both of the bands I watched the first night were not very good live. One of them was whatever and the other was bad. The bad one sounded fine, but the people in it were so ugly. One of them looked like a young Matt Dillon and the other looked like greasy Matt Jones. I didn,t know who Matt Jones was until I watched them play and was immediately reminded of some weird looking actor I had seen before. That,s Matt Jones, claim to fame - I thought of him when I saw a weird looking guy.

I went back for a little while the next day and it was so hot that I looked like I had peed my butt within ten minutes of getting there. My entire shirt was soaked with my disgusting body juices and my butt looked like I had sat in a deep, terrible puddle. That was the highlight.