Goo

I have been treating myself so poorly lately. I ran out of food stamps a few weeks ago and they just refilled this morning so I didn,t have any real food in my home for a little while. I didn,t even have the proper condiments to make the things that I did have (rice) taste good (soy sauce). It was a rough few days. I was living on cold water and long naps.

I just got back from the grocery store and I went wild. I spent one hundred dollars. It was great. The best part is that I still feel like I don,t have any food. My refrigerator is somehow still very empty. I guess that means that I only buy dry food, but it,s still a bummer to have spent over half of my monthly food allotment and open the fridge to find a piece of broccoli and some tortillas.

Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy Instead of eating, I have been watching a cooking show that I used to watch when I was a kid. It,s about this ridiculous, ugly British guy who loves sliding down banisters and having really wet lips. He,s gross and really loud and he,s always throwing stuff around so I should definitely hate him. I don,t though. I,m not sure what it is about him that makes me not want to die, but he has that indefinable quality. He is a shining example.

I think my Death Cab For Cutie cover band finally finished our dumb record yesterday. We haven,t really been working on it for the past month or so. It,s just been our friend who recorded it sending me mixes and me telling him, ,, No dude, this isn,t good enough. You need to make it sound like we know how to play our instruments and write songs. Try again. Try harder.,, He came through in the end, though. I,m guessing that he just rewrote and rerecorded the entire thing, but as long as we get the credit for it, I,m happy.

Twice In One Day

My Death Cab For Cutie cover band played a show with another Death Cab For Cutie cover band last night. That was embarrassing. We covered all of the same songs. Luckily, nobody was there watching us so it wasn,t a big deal. There was nobody to notice how bad of a job we did. That was a nice bonus. It was just a really bad band practice that we got paid twelve dollars to do.

I still need to get a new television. Mine is still acting very racist even though I took it apart and pushed on some stuff like you,re supposed to do when something breaks. That,ll be a nice two hundred dollars to spend that I don,t have. Hopefully I,ll start making a little bit more money. I doubt it, but I always like to hope for ridiculous things.

Adult Jazz - Gist Is I got another ,,job.,, I,m still in the unpaid training process where I have to read stuff about grocery shopping that seems like it was written for fifth graders. The job is shopping for groceries for people and delivering it to their homes. I,m glad I have a bachelor,s degree. It,s all paying off big time.

Someday I,ll get a real job, but for now I,ll continue answering phones and talking to idiots and going to the store for people who are too lazy and rich to do it themselves. I haven,t even had to go to the store yet. I wonder how stupid this job is going to be. I told the interviewer that I love grocery shopping, but I don,t really. I,m going to quit the first day because I won,t be able to find the figs.

I Do Not Like The Smell Of It

I have to go to San Francisco tomorrow. I have to go there for a meeting for work. I have ridiculous facial hair right now. I am going to look like a crazy person and they,re going to fire me. I get paid for gas and tolls and time though. So it,ll all be worth it. If I don,t get paid for parking, it will not all be worth it. I had better get money for that or I,ll be losing my job for nothing.

The meeting is about my health insurance. I think it will be very boring. I hope they have snacks. I hope they have poppy seed muffins that aren,t very sweet. I used to work photographing college graduations with my friend and we would have to get there really early - way before the ceremony started. There was a room in the back where they would have breakfast food for all of the crew and we would go back there and eat a bunch of stuff and then throw stuff at the walls when nobody else was in there.

Midnight Star - Planetary Invasion We were both adults when we did this. We weren,t in high school. I must have been twenty and my friend is older than I am. We got paid to tell people where to stand to get their picture taken before they got their diploma and throw strawberries at a wall and make them explode. That,s what I hope the meeting is like tomorrow. I want to throw some food at a thing. I haven,t done that while getting paid in a long time. Last night at work, I threw a noodle in the trash, but it wasn,t the same because it was a dirty noodle. I want to waste good food and make money. That,s the American dream.

I need to try and figure out something fun to do while I,m down there. Maybe I,ll eat some food. Maybe I,ll visit a friend. Maybe I,ll try to sell drawings outside of the MOMA. I think that,s how Michelangelo got his start. His full name was Michelangelo Jackson.