Usefulness

I,m worried about myself. I keep seriously considering quitting my job without having another one lined up. I mean, I think I,m too much of a wimp to do it, but I sure do keep thinking about it. I don,t think you can file for unemployment if you quit. I would run out of money so quickly and I wouldn,t even be able to move back home because that place doesn,t exist anymore and my nearest family is three thousand miles away. That,s wild.

I guess that means that it,s time to grow up. That,s why I,m letting my beard grow. I,m supposed to be an adult so I had better start looking like one. Also, I like having a beard because all of my sleep drool gets trapped in it and my pillow stays dry. It smells something awful the next day, but that,s what showers are for. Showers were specifically designed for the purpose of washing the stink slime out of your face hair.

Todd Terje - It,s Album Time I should probably start eating like an adult. I made mashed potatoes for dinner the other night. That was crazy. Nobody should eat two pounds of potatoes and cheese and garlic for dinner, but I sure did. I,m sure that didn,t help the weird sore throat that I,ve had for three weeks. I,ve never had a sore throat without any other symptoms before. I hope I don,t have throat poisoning. I hope I don,t need to get my tonsils removed. I once heard that tonsils are the best catfish bait in the world. I wonder if I actually heard that or just made it up a long time ago.

New Medicine

I woke up early yesterday so I could go to that radio music survey thing. I had to sit in a room with morons and listen to over six hundred clips of songs that I didn,t like and say if I liked them or not. The best part about it, other than the money, was that they had snacks. The worst part about it was that all of the snacks were dumb. The other best part about it was the weird feeling I got knowing that one of the walls in the room was a two-way mirror. It,s bizarre to be looked at without being able to see who,s looking. I kept readjusting and trying to sit up straight. I didn,t want to embarrass myself and look like a slob in front of the secret executives.

,,Secret Executives,, sounds like the name of a fourteen year old,s punk band. I probably heard that band yesterday while listening to all of those stupid songs. I was worried that they wouldn,t pay me because I kept marking that I didn,t like the songs. I had to fill out a gigantic scantron. It made me miss school. It made me not miss the people I went to high school with.

Mount Kimbie - Cold Spring Fault Less Youth The only people being surveyed were guys and almost all of them looked like they listened to the kind of music we had to listen to. I guess radio stations know their target demographic. The best guy was sitting right across from me. He had a really cool facial hair set up and boardshorts and a red shirt with an awesome, MMA inspired design and really original tattoos of an owl and stars and nautical stuff. He did this really cool thing where he pulled out a can of shredded tobacco and stuck a big hunk of it in his mouth. I never saw him spit, though. I thought you were supposed to spit when you used that stuff. That,s probably just for wimps. He was not a wimp.

I,m sure that he has a girlfriend who he doesn,t listen to. She has the kind of hair that is bleached on the outside and black underneath. She has to get her hair dyed like that in a small town that,s over an hour away because the hairdressers there don,t know that everybody in the world thinks that looks bad yet. They are living eight years in the past. She loves Red Bull and watching the snowboarding parts of The X Games.

 ,,Can we go to The X Games this year?,, she asks her boyfriend who isn,t a wimp. He,s not listening to her, though. He,s busy calling a twelve year old a ,,pussy,, for being bad at playing the video game about guns that he,s currently playing.

Telling The Truth

Do you remember five seconds ago when I wrote about there being a bunch of fruit flies in my disgusting apartment? I do because it just happened. It,s happening again too. I hate bugs. They land on my expensive bread. I think it keeps happening because now that I don,t have a roommate to make a bunch of trash with me, the garbage can fills up a lot slower so those jerks have time to fly in and then call their friends and have them fly in too. Then they have a weird trash party in my trash without even asking my permission and they fly into my eyes and mouth, again without my permission.

There were so many fruit flies in my kitchen this morning. Luckily, I have the internet and they don,t so I was able to look up stuff that makes them die. Apparently if you fill small cups with gross liquids, they will touch it and die because they can,t swim because they are black. That is a pretty racist thing to say. No, it isn,t because I,m talking about bugs instead of people. Still though, I think it sounds kind of racist. Whatever, dude, you,re a wimp.

Tera Melos - Where,s The Worm? I don,t know if bugs can hear anything. I made a loud noise near some of them and they didn,t move so I don,t think they can. They also might just be lazy or stupid. It is also possible that they are deaf and lazy and stupid. That would explain a lot about bugs. Only something lazy and stupid and deaf would eat poop on purpose. I guess that,s not true. I,ve seen videos of girls that I am almost positive could hear and they had quite a bit of poop in their mouths. At least they were creative with it though. They were wiggling it around and some of them puked at one point. I think they were Brazilian. That,s the main difference between people and bugs - people have nationalities.