Last week my friend Dick-String and I went on this weird trip. Sunday night we decided to go to Nevada so we could spend exactly one dollar on slot time and get a delicious free beverage from the grumpy/horny woman that was shouting and carrying a tray around. Mission Accomplished. We also got a free, authentic Reno cheese steak while watching that bad Brendon Small show, not the ultra-great one. The Beast of Burden that served us our vittles had skin like one of those ladies from the middle east that got caught watching TV or reading a Nintendo magazine by their owner so he threw acid in their face. Pretty, pretty bad.
Candy Claws - Two Airships/Exploder
Two old women sat in the table next to us while we ate. It was 4 AM or something stupid like that. They had just got up to start their day. In Reno. They were dressed in these ill-fitting, salmon colored power suits that had dirt all over the knees and ankles. It was very strange. The boss of the two old ladies kept staring at us and saying she felt sorry for us. We replied in unison saying that we felt sorry for her because she is going to die way before us and she has to know that there was a black man running her country rather than Karl Rove and that her skin looks like a bunch of dead lizards mashed together. We both ended up feeling sorry for each other.
Our great night ended with us watching a terrible man choke on a cup of chicken ramen. It was indescribably disgusting. He had bits of noodle stuck to his ever-protruding, wet lips and a look of complete bewilderment on his ugly, machete face. Chicken ramen was always the worst flavor too. He could have so easily just gone for beef or something and fixed the whole problem. Idiot.
Love,
Book Mobile Alabama
