New New New

I went to a show last night to watch some Japanese people play music. It was at a fancy bar that I don,t like because it,s always full of people who are at a fancy bar. It,s also sort of expensive to go there and I don,t like doing that sort of thing. It was worth it though. The people playing sure were Japanese and that,s what I payed top dollar to see. The singer wore very tall shoes.

There was an old guy there who kept smashing into people. He would alternate between purposefully running into people around him and doing weird dances that I think he copied from the Austin Powers film series. He had a nice head of grey hair and looked like the uncle that always tried to embarrass you in front of your friends but would also buy you alcohol when you were fifteen so you put up with him.

Dying Hero/So Stressed - A Significant Figure
I don,t think he came with anybody. He was just there supporting the scene. He could have been there because his nephew couldn,t go because it was a twenty one and up show so he went to pass on a message to those four Japanese people. That,s probably the most realistic reason why he was there. It doesn,t really explain the strange dancing but I can,t tie up every loose end every time I see an old guy smashing into/hugging a bunch of weird smelling, ugly punker kids. He was probably a nice guy though. He did do his fair share of hugging which is rarely seen at cool guy shows like this was. That was sweet of him.

I looked at a blog about fly fishing for a long time the other day and since then my sleep schedule has been off. I am very tired but I shouldn,t be.

I Know Who You Are But I Do Not Care

When I was in sixth grade I had to go to a camp towards the end of the school year. I think pretty much everybody went. It was five days long and it was supposed to be cool because you could bring a ton of candy and stay up late every night and you didn,t have to do school work for a week. It was also where the only sixth grade dance took place. Kids weren,t allowed to dance in those days.

I remember the bus ride taking a long time and stopping in this horrible strip mall so everybody could eat. I went to Arby,s and filled my delicate frame with over a half pound of thin sheets of beef. It was gross and I was proud of myself. I remember getting there and being underwhelmed. Everything was covered in bugs. We had to sit in a room and listen to somebody talk about rules which was probably boring. I,m piecing all of this together from super brief, tiny fragment memories that are more than likely all fabricated.

Run DMT - Dreams
The little cabins we stayed in were each split into two sides with four beds. I was with some of my friends and we stayed up late listening to KoRn CDs and putting little packets jelly in the kids, shoes that were staying in the other side of the cabin. Suckers. I think we also figured out how to turn their heater all the way up and break the knob so they couldn,t turn it down.

It was the second night there when I woke up in the middle of the night and threw up on everything. That was a bummer. I went a took a shower while the older guy that was chaperoning our cabin tried to hose off the horrible slime that came out of my body onto the bed. He also tried to teach us how to make a bong at some point. After that I was bedridden. I missed going to the beach to look at weird crabs. I missed going on some hike. I missed getting my first kiss. I missed my first dance.

I continued that dance tradition and never went to any. I even won homecoming king when I was a senior in high school and didn,t go. I also never went to the bathroom throughout my four years of high school. I also kept not getting my first kiss for a really long time.

Onion Ring

I work with a tiny Hispanic woman on the weekends. She cleans stuff with me. Actually, she cleans stuff and I sit. She doesn,t really speak any English and I don,t really speak any Spanish and it,s probably better that way. It,s always fun acting like I know what she,s talking about. I could just make up words when I,m talking to her and she would have no idea.

She,s older. She has kids. She treats me like a kid, which is completely fine. She brings me food. This last weekend she brought me a piece of bread one day and the next day she brought me a piece of fruit and a bean and cheese sandwich that she made. It was awesome. I had never thought of a bean sandwich, but now I think about them all the time. Beans are a good thing to put on or in other things. I usually put beans in soup when I make it. Three bean salad. That wasn,t a sentence.

Charles Dodge - Any Resemblance Is Purely Coincidental
I used to make beans on toast because I had heard English people mention it so often. That was alright. It,s sort of like a bean sandwich except it,s better if you,re really poor because you can just save the top bread for later and only use the bottom bread. That,s probably why they started doing that. The potato famine made it so all English people couldn,t put top breads on any of their bean sandwiches. That,s something they don,t teach you in school.

This Friday should be fun. It,s supposed to be my favorite day of the year. I,m going to drive to a place where I can get free mandarins. There,s nothing wrong with that. It,s supposed to rain, but there,s still nothing wrong with free mandarins. I love me a good tiny citrus fruit. The only thing that I am worried about is that I will end up getting a lot of the white, fibrous stuff from under the peel of the mandarins stuck in my beard and nobody will tell me about it because it,s always sort of weird to tell somebody they have stuff on their face for some reason.

Pretending To Be Asleep

I need some advice. How do you tell your friend that you hate them now because whenever you hang out with them they are almost constantly using their iPhone instead of actually interacting with a human being? I guess I could just say most of that sentence I just wrote to them, but I was thinking maybe I should write it in a card or maybe frost it onto the top of a cake or something. I don,t know. Maybe I should send him an email that gets my point across but uses a lot of smiley faces and hearts and stuff so it,ll be fun to read.

There are so many different ways to go about it. It,s tough. It,s pretty annoying to hang out with anybody who is super attached to a screen though. My old sweet roommate couldn,t talk or hear if he looked at a screen. My current roommate can talk but he can,t hear if there is even so much as a microwave timer display in front of him. It,s a strange thing. I know that I can multitask and hear and speak and look at something digital simultaneously, but maybe I am the anomaly. I hope not.

Steely Dan - Countdown To Ecstasy
I don,t actually hate my friend that loves his iPhone more than people. I just don,t know if he is very cool anymore. I understand using it as a toy when you,re bored or nobody is around, but it is so bizarre to me to use it whenever there,s a free moment. Maybe he has been bored his whole life and the iPhone is the exact thing that he,s always needed to fill that hole in his life. I don,t really think that,s true. We used to smash bottles on the ground and make big messes and we had fun then.

I actually am worried about this though. It has completely happened with one friend and it has mostly happened with another friend and now they are both sucky friends to hang out with. They,re not worse people or anything, I just have almost no interest in spending time with them. If it happens to all friends all over the world, then I,ll be out of luck. Maybe you have to consciously make that decision when you get an iPhone. Will you continue acting like a human being and interacting with people in real space or will you look at websites a lot and play games and send text messages forever? Maybe I can,t blame him for choosing his choice over the other. Maybe it makes sense to him because he really likes YouTube. I guess I,ll never know until I frost him that cake and we talk about this via whatever digital format he prefers.