Hitting

All I ever do anymore is eat muffins. It,s great. I learned how to make them recently and I just keep doing it. I had three this morning and I,ll probably have another one later. I,m truly living the American dream. I get paid to do nothing and I eat muffins whenever I want. Also, I have to poop. I think that is integral to the American dream.

My Death Cab For Cutie cover band started recording another album the other day which is absolutely insane since we just finished recording two months ago. What a small group of morons we are. What,s even better is that we are paying for this ourselves rather than swindling our bosses to pay for it and, on top of that, it really does sound like we,re a Death Cab For Cutie cover band now. Usually, it sounds like we,re a Nirvana cover band, but not today.

El Guincho - Pop Negro I have no idea what is going to happen with this new record. It,s very possible that nothing is going to happen. I can,t really imagine our benevolent dictators to be so benevolent as to agree to buy this record from us even though it doesn,t sound anything like our band. We will see. If they don,t like it, I guess we will just have bought ourselves an incredibly expensive joke. It,s good to do that sometimes. It,s good to waste money that you don,t have.

It,ll probably take forever to finish this one. We wanted the last one done in two weeks and it took four so this one will probably take nine months since we,re not giving ourselves a deadline. Also, our friend who records everything for us knows that we,re not paying him very much so I am certain that this is not a priority for him. It shouldn,t be. He,d be a fool and I wouldn,t want to record with him if it were.

Actually Happening

I feel like I,m losing my brain. That,s usual, but right now it,s for a very specific reason. I have been looking for something so much lately. It,s consuming me. I haven,t started having dreams about it, but once I do, it,ll already be too late. I,ll be a goner. The little functioning bit in my head will be reduced to slimy mush. I can,t wait.

I,m looking for a house. I am definitely not looking to buy a house because I am not a millionaire or absolutely insane. I,m looking for a house to rent because as much as I really like my current smelly apartment, it would be nice to have a place that is a bit bigger and a whole lot quieter. My upstairs neighbor, who is generally very quiet, started playing reggaeton very early Christmas morning and hasn,t stopped yet. Also, I got a sweet little letter in the mail a while ago letting me know that my rent is going to go up next month. That,ll be fun.

Tenniscoats - Papa,s Ear I figured that I might as well spend a bit more money for a quieter place without any shared walls rather than pay more for no improvements whatsoever. One of my neighbors keeps yawning so frequently and with such power that I,m not completely convinced that he,s not ejaculating each time. It,s worrying and gross. Another one of my neighbors snores so loudly that it sounds like I,m sharing a bed with them.

All I do all day is scour the earth,s internet for small house in a part of town that isn,t super gnarly that I can afford. It,s proving to be quite the white whale. I thought I had found one, but I never got any responses to my numerous emails and when I went and looked at the house, the back door had been kicked in. This meant that I was able to walk around and touch things in there without anybody,s permission, but it may also mean that the owner and/or previous tenants were murdered to death. Who knows?