Buddhism

What if you couldn,t remember the last thing that you ate that wasn,t macaroni and cheese? It wouldn,t be because that,s all you ate, it would be because you had a weird problem where you could only remember that food. That would be a strange brain disease. I hope I don,t get that or have that now. I am going to have macaroni and cheese for dinner.

I am a firm believer that the macaroni and cheese that is cartoon shapes rather than standard macaroni noodles taste better. I have thought this for years and have not understood why. I now think I have a theory which might explain this.

I have noticed that when you get a box with shapes, it weighs less than a standard box. This is probably because the people at the macaroni and cheese factory are idiots. Both boxes should weigh the same. There is no reason to put in fewer noodles just because they are shaped like dog heads.

Miles Davis - Miles In The Sky The spice packet (AKA the cheese) is the same in each. This makes me think that the higher yellow/orange powder to noodle weight ratio is the cause for the better flavor. It kind of makes sense except for the fact that I once tried the kind where it has extra flavor or something and it was gross. Also, the kind in the cup that you microwave is gross. I,m a horrible human being, but even I won,t buy that stuff.

The end result is that I don,t know or care why it tastes better. I am just mad that it usually costs more than the regular noodles even though there is less of it. I am also really mad about the fact that I am a grown man who regularly eats things out of a box that take no skill or craft to create. I know how to cook some things, but I choose not to. I choose to wallow in orange slop.

Weeping Openly

I went to a roller derby match the other day. Is it a match? I went to a roller derby game. I went to a roller derby tournament. I went to a roller derby disaster. I went to a roller rink and watch people who were equal parts juggalo and rockabilly ride around in circles and get yelled at from a crowd of people who adored Coors Light and having very long goatees.

I didn,t see any, but I can guarantee that a huge amount of green animal print clothing had been purchased by the players as well as the spectators. They all loved neon colored stand up basses and not having to think when talking to their significant other. Also included on their list of preferred activities are mudding, collecting DUIs, ignoring the needs of their children, making fun of their children, construction, and making fun of kids who wear tight pants.

Sean McCann - Midnight Orchard The referees were my favorite people there. My favorite of the favorite was a guy whose referee name was Zombiegoat. He had zebra print roller skates and skull socks and absolutely no ambition in life. He made me extremely happy and extremely sad at the same time so I felt nothing when I looked at him. It was bizarre. I have never experienced anything like that.

I felt very sticky by the time I left even though I tried my hardest not to touch anything. I guess that,s the prize you get for going to one of those things - a feeling of stickiness. I bet it would have been less expensive if I had had a tattoo. That seems like the place that gives tattoo discounts. You get fifty percent off for a normal tattoo and seventy five percent off if you can prove that one of your tattoos used to be a swastika.

Very Good Cook

I just cut my fingernails because the most important day of the year is coming up and I want to be ready for it. This Friday I am going to go to the mandarin festival which is the best thing. I get to go and walk around in the cold and eat free mandarins. I get to eat the best food in the world for free and I probably get other good foods for free as well.

I,ll spend the morning surrounded by bewildered old people who will wander the frosted grounds looking at unbelievably expensive olive oils and stupid ceramic plates designed to grate ginger and wasabi. They will buy these plates and oils for their ugly children and grandchildren who will never use or appreciate them and then they will return to the old person caves.

Marc Johnson/Eliane Elias - Swept Away They are a sad yet honorable bunch, but they are not important. The free fruit is important. I will bring a few changes of clothes so it will be more difficult for the vendors to recognize me when I return again and again to their booths to ,,sample,, their delectable, little, orange spheres. They,ll never know what hit them.

Sometimes there are hot tubs there because apparently people who sell hot tubs think that a festival based around citrus fruit is a good place to try and trick people into buying expensive, outdoor bathtubs. If I don,t like a particular grower,s mandarin, I will throw it in the boiling tubs of gross water and let it cook. It will make me feel like a warlord because I have no concept of what warlords did.

Fix Your Throat

It,s time to elect a president. I did my part by not registering to vote ever. I figure it is the same as me getting a vasectomy - I am doing the entire world a huge favor by not being able to spread anything about me. I do hope a lot of people vote for me though. I bet if at least one hundred people vote for me, I,ll get a ribbon or prize or something. I would be fine with that. I would hang it next to my homecoming award. I won homecoming king when I was in high school and didn,t go to the game or dance or assembly. That,s how I celebrated my rule as king.

I,m not registered to vote, but I just had to register on a bizarre blogging website for people whole like to travel. My boss said that everybody had to do it. He said to ,,have fun,, with it so I put the ugliest picture of myself on there and filled out all of my information with insane stuff.

You have to have motto on there so I put the lyrics to TLC,s hit song ,,Waterfalls.,, You also have to provide very uninteresting information about yourself like your favorite airport (Pittsburgh Steelers) and the last place you traveled (THE LAKE). I also had to fill out an About Me section so I wrote this.

The Rentals - Return Of The Rentals ,,oh boy i never kno what to say with these stuff. ahhah. its crazy. i dunno i just like travel. i love to visit the exquisite place and see new people of all types and kinds. ahhahaa. i just dunno. its so fun. i cant ge tenoguh of it most times i just wanna be out their and experience the world for the with new eyes. im just youre normal guy for most part. i love to eat and swim and dancing. im in my twenies but i wont say how old cuz im geting older hahaah. im a big goof at heart and i love swiming. i love a good joke and me favorite m ovie is south park moive.

if it was up to me i would see it all the whole world and everthing inbetween it all. i love me firneds like family and music is my life. i wish txting was free oh well i guess it is because i dont pay for it hhhaa. i like to lonboard when i get chances if i can and i love to swime. the ocean is so majestic if yo think about it. im just average. i dont really like school that much but whateve. it s all good. just have fun an dbe yourslef while you can. :),,