Not Exactly

I spent a lot of this past weekend being frustrated and bummed because I was doing frustrating stuff and in a smelly attic while a beast with a very gooey eye circled me. Those are not ideal conditions for recording, but you get what you pay for. Nothing went well and everything took forever and we,re not even close to being finished. Maybe that,s good, though. Maybe all of this discomfort and anger will bring about an artistic epiphany. I don,t really think that will happen because none of us are artists in any sense of the word.

We,re idiots, though. Maybe it will bring about an idiotic epiphany. I don,t know what that would mean, but I hope it happens. I hope being tired and annoyed brings about some type of reward. It hasn,t so far in my life, but I guess that could change suddenly for no reason, right?

Metronomy - Love Letters That,s the fear - that everything is difficult and there is no great reward for your toil and labor. That,s what separates man from beast. That,s what brings about untimely demises. That,s what makes people start Death Cab For Cutie cover bands. That fear is the only thing that anybody lives for. They want the reward that they aren,t sure even exists.

Speaking of Death Cab For Cutie cover bands, I sold something on Craigslist today to some nerd that lives one hundred feet away from me and when he was paying me, he handed me his band,s business card. He haggled me down five dollars cheaper than I had advertised, but I think the business card definitely made up for it. I certainly got the better deal. Looking up his band and watching footage of them performing live made me realize how lucky I am to be only kind of an idiot rather than a total, irrevocable idiot.

The Same Thing

My Death Cab For Cutie cover band is supposed to start recording some music later today. We haven,t done that in a long time. It,s probably because we,re not a real band so everything we do takes an extremely long time and ends up appearing like it was rushed and ill-thought-out. That,s what sets us apart from all the rest of the Death Cab For Cutie cover bands. We toil laboriously over every detail of every aspect of what we do and the end result looks like we just phoned it in.

The other reason that we haven,t recorded anything in such a long time is because we are all poor idiots and recording costs money. The crazy part is that we record with a friend of ours so it,s not even that expensive and we can still only barely afford it. That,s the kind of people we are - irresponsible, slow, lazy, embarrassing, boring, and annoying.

Jombo - Pure Pleasure The last time we recorded music with our friend, there was a sick dog in the room sometimes. It was gross. It had a very gooey eye which I did not enjoy whatsoever. I really hope that its eye is not so gooey if it,s there this time. Cleaning that goo off of our instruments proved to be much more difficult than I had thought it would be. Also, the goo was mildly acidic so if you didn,t clean it off right away, it would start eating away at whatever it touched. That beast must have been very sick.

For Fun

What is going on with me? I have been way too busy lately. That almost never happens. I don,t like it. I,ve been getting up early and doing things before work rather than just lying around and accidentally falling asleep. It doesn,t feel right. I should be wasting more time rather than being productive.

I guess it,s not all productive, though. I had to work an extra day this week and that was certainly not productive. I also had to stay an hour and a half later than I was supposed to one day. That wasn,t productive either. The only thing that my extra time spent at work has produced is a newfound willingness in me to start buying lottery tickets with the hope that I will win big and not need to be employed for a while.

Matthew De Gennaro - Chuang Tzu Motherfuckers In the little downtime I have had recently, I have been crossing my fingers as hard as I can about that garbage test I took the other day. If I did well enough, I could be king of trash. That,s all I,ve ever wanted in this life. If I,m king of trash, I won,t have to work for a living. People will bathe me in jewels and rotten lettuce. I,ll sell the jewels and use the money to pay rent and I,ll eat the lettuce. That,s the American dream.

Rescheduling

I woke up really early today to go to a police station. It was cold and boring. I went there to take a test to see if I am qualified to hang out in a garbage pile all day. There are rigorous garbage standards. Almost everybody there who wasn,t me was a forty-five year old fat guy with really short hair wearing some kind of sports clothing. They weren,t wearing clothing that people play sports in. They were wearing jackets and shirts and hats with the names of sports and sports teams on them and sometimes sharks.

They all smelled the same. They smelled like teenagers, which was weird. That meant that they only hung out with teenage boys or that they thought that it was appropriate to use Axe Body Spray as mouthwash even though they are adults who probably have families and incredible amounts of debt. Maybe there is a type of Axe Body Spray that is marketed specifically for married but lonely men who love sports and don,t care about their children,s grades. 

B.Lewis - Finding Incandescence

The test was alright. It was nice to fill in bubbles on paper again. It,s been so long. I think I did alright. There were some things I didn,t know for certain. I couldn,t remember what ,,delineate,, meant while taking the test, but I checked later and I guessed right. After I found out that I was right, I celebrated by buying two sandwiches from my favorite sandwich factory. I ate one for second breakfast and it was so spicy that it gave me a stomachache. 

I,m worried about my body. I,m worried about my eyes. They have been hurting so much lately. I think I,m going blind. Not blind. I think I,m going blurry. I probably need glasses for real. It,s all my fault. I look at screens too much and my wimpy, nerd eyes can,t handle it. For the past few minutes, my vision has been going dark right before I blink sometimes. It,s terrifying. I don,t know what it means. I hope I don,t have eye poisoning.

Never mind, I just realized that it was a light bulb flickering and burning out in my peripheral vision. I still hope I don,t have eye poisoning, though.