Telling The Truth

Do you remember five seconds ago when I wrote about there being a bunch of fruit flies in my disgusting apartment? I do because it just happened. It,s happening again too. I hate bugs. They land on my expensive bread. I think it keeps happening because now that I don,t have a roommate to make a bunch of trash with me, the garbage can fills up a lot slower so those jerks have time to fly in and then call their friends and have them fly in too. Then they have a weird trash party in my trash without even asking my permission and they fly into my eyes and mouth, again without my permission.

There were so many fruit flies in my kitchen this morning. Luckily, I have the internet and they don,t so I was able to look up stuff that makes them die. Apparently if you fill small cups with gross liquids, they will touch it and die because they can,t swim because they are black. That is a pretty racist thing to say. No, it isn,t because I,m talking about bugs instead of people. Still though, I think it sounds kind of racist. Whatever, dude, you,re a wimp.

Tera Melos - Where,s The Worm? I don,t know if bugs can hear anything. I made a loud noise near some of them and they didn,t move so I don,t think they can. They also might just be lazy or stupid. It is also possible that they are deaf and lazy and stupid. That would explain a lot about bugs. Only something lazy and stupid and deaf would eat poop on purpose. I guess that,s not true. I,ve seen videos of girls that I am almost positive could hear and they had quite a bit of poop in their mouths. At least they were creative with it though. They were wiggling it around and some of them puked at one point. I think they were Brazilian. That,s the main difference between people and bugs - people have nationalities.

Wash

I have been watching a lot of bizarre television lately. I just spelled both ,,Television,, and ,,Lately,, incorrectly. It,s probably from watching so much bizarre television lately. I have split my television watching between a weird, unfunny, strange Korean drama about a girl whose name might be Pasta who is verbally and emotionally assaulted while working in a kitchen and a show about black girls screaming. I,m not sure which one is less rewarding to watch, but I do know that I have spent way too much time watching them in the past week.

The Korean show is nuts and it keeps playing the same song over and over and the girl named Pasta always talks like a fat baby with a mouth full of stewed apples. I think I hate her. The show does make me want to eat pasta though, so that,s a plus, I guess. I don,t know any of the character,s names or the story line or anything and I have watched several episodes. All I know is that there is one fat Asian girl in it and she,s not even pretty so it,s a complete waste. Also, one guy talks with a lisp.

Son Of A Bricklayer - Moose Without Antlers The show about black girls screaming is also nuts. For the past few years I have thought that someday I would want to date or at least hang out with a gnarly club girl chicken head who got drunk and fought other girls and wore really bad outfits all the time. After watching this show, I don,t know if I would be physically capable of handling that. It,s not like any crazy chicken head would ever want to hang out with me, but if one accidentally did, I don,t know if I could stand up to the extreme volume. They scream so much and repeat short phrases over and over. It,s like somebody sneezing words repeatedly and it makes me feel sick. I also think that they would hit me and any girl could beat me up so that wouldn,t be a good deal.

I,m not saying that I have taken dating a chicken head off of my list of ways to punish myself before I die, I just think that if it happens, it will be the reason that I die. That would be a cool way to go out though. She would love me a lot and feel bad about yelling at me to death so she would make me a leopard print tombstone that would say something like, ,,yous a bitch but imma miss u.,, It would probably also have a picture of her looking sassy and holding a glass of alcohol and it would have her phone number somewhere on it.

Eating Out Of A Bowl

I think this is going to be one of those days where I don,t have anything to write but I still feel compelled to write something on here because I,m stupid. Last week was like that, but so much so that I didn,t even bother. It doesn,t matter. Everything I have ever written on here doesn,t matter. I don,t even look back through these things after I have written them to feel nostalgic or to remember what was going on in my life at a certain time. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn,t be able to because the stuff I write on here is either lies or so menial that I would never remember it happening.

I went to the mall the other day for the first time in a long time and had to stop myself from yelling stuff. That felt weird. I had overwhelming urges to be rude to strangers. I wanted to tell people that they were ugly and their hair looked dumb. I wanted an employee to ask me if I needed anything so I could ignore them or give them a mean look. I didn,t though. Most of the people looked stronger and richer than me.

Hot Chip - Coming On Strong I spent a lot of money. I spent a lot of money for me. Normal people probably spend way more when they buy things. I don,t buy things though. I bought two things that day. Now I have two more things. I got rid of several things recently so I,m trying to recoup my losses. I live on a tiny boat so I try to always have the same amount of stuff on there so it stays balanced. That,s what they did in the olden days and that,s what I do now.

There was a store in the mall that had furniture that millionaire women would buy. I sat in there for a while and looked at a whiteboard calendar on the wall. Next to the calendar there were several horse-related pictures. Some of them were pictures of horses while others were horse components and schematics. Before I left the millionaire women,s store I wrote on the whiteboard calendar, ,,Horse photography class,, on one of the days in the middle of the month. 

Stop Saying That

Today is my tenth day of being at work in a row. That,s a lot of days even though I don,t work very hard. I have had to spend at least eight hours here each of those days. I,m going nuts. It,s making me like people that come here even less than I already did. I was supposed to work tomorrow as well but I think my boss could sense the violent rage silently building inside of me and he decided it would be a better idea to let me not work one day than to deal with me catching a bird and boiling it in front of a bunch of people or something.

These last ten days have been extra weird. A bunch of robberies have happened. I think I may have dreamt some of them, but I,m pretty sure at least a few were real. Some guy came and stole some people,s stuff one night and then came back a few days later and stole a ton of money. Maybe it was me. I don,t think it was, but the days are blending together and my eyes have been bad recently. I can,t trust my senses right now. I hope the police aren,t reading this. I wonder how many times I,ve written that sentence on here.

Thelonious Monk - Thelonious Alone In San Francsico There were a bunch of fruit flies in my apartment the other day because I hadn,t been home enough to notice that my trash was gross. I killed them all. I bet I swallowed some. I hope I did. I should have kept a small, cool light in my mouth while I was sleeping so they would be attracted to me and I could have breathed them in. I want them to die in a lung.

I,m having a lot of trouble writing this right now. I keep spelling everything even more wrong than usual. I,m really losing my mind. I can,t see anything far away. Everything smells like sour milk. I cut open a tomato today and it was full of vines and it scared me. I,m tired all the time. My throat feels weird. I keep going deaf in one ear for short periods of time. I won,t be surprised if I wake up dead soon.