New Medicine

I woke up early yesterday so I could go to that radio music survey thing. I had to sit in a room with morons and listen to over six hundred clips of songs that I didn,t like and say if I liked them or not. The best part about it, other than the money, was that they had snacks. The worst part about it was that all of the snacks were dumb. The other best part about it was the weird feeling I got knowing that one of the walls in the room was a two-way mirror. It,s bizarre to be looked at without being able to see who,s looking. I kept readjusting and trying to sit up straight. I didn,t want to embarrass myself and look like a slob in front of the secret executives.

,,Secret Executives,, sounds like the name of a fourteen year old,s punk band. I probably heard that band yesterday while listening to all of those stupid songs. I was worried that they wouldn,t pay me because I kept marking that I didn,t like the songs. I had to fill out a gigantic scantron. It made me miss school. It made me not miss the people I went to high school with.

Mount Kimbie - Cold Spring Fault Less Youth The only people being surveyed were guys and almost all of them looked like they listened to the kind of music we had to listen to. I guess radio stations know their target demographic. The best guy was sitting right across from me. He had a really cool facial hair set up and boardshorts and a red shirt with an awesome, MMA inspired design and really original tattoos of an owl and stars and nautical stuff. He did this really cool thing where he pulled out a can of shredded tobacco and stuck a big hunk of it in his mouth. I never saw him spit, though. I thought you were supposed to spit when you used that stuff. That,s probably just for wimps. He was not a wimp.

I,m sure that he has a girlfriend who he doesn,t listen to. She has the kind of hair that is bleached on the outside and black underneath. She has to get her hair dyed like that in a small town that,s over an hour away because the hairdressers there don,t know that everybody in the world thinks that looks bad yet. They are living eight years in the past. She loves Red Bull and watching the snowboarding parts of The X Games.

 ,,Can we go to The X Games this year?,, she asks her boyfriend who isn,t a wimp. He,s not listening to her, though. He,s busy calling a twelve year old a ,,pussy,, for being bad at playing the video game about guns that he,s currently playing.

I Do Not Like The Smell Of It

I have to go to San Francisco tomorrow. I have to go there for a meeting for work. I have ridiculous facial hair right now. I am going to look like a crazy person and they,re going to fire me. I get paid for gas and tolls and time though. So it,ll all be worth it. If I don,t get paid for parking, it will not all be worth it. I had better get money for that or I,ll be losing my job for nothing.

The meeting is about my health insurance. I think it will be very boring. I hope they have snacks. I hope they have poppy seed muffins that aren,t very sweet. I used to work photographing college graduations with my friend and we would have to get there really early - way before the ceremony started. There was a room in the back where they would have breakfast food for all of the crew and we would go back there and eat a bunch of stuff and then throw stuff at the walls when nobody else was in there.

Midnight Star - Planetary Invasion We were both adults when we did this. We weren,t in high school. I must have been twenty and my friend is older than I am. We got paid to tell people where to stand to get their picture taken before they got their diploma and throw strawberries at a wall and make them explode. That,s what I hope the meeting is like tomorrow. I want to throw some food at a thing. I haven,t done that while getting paid in a long time. Last night at work, I threw a noodle in the trash, but it wasn,t the same because it was a dirty noodle. I want to waste good food and make money. That,s the American dream.

I need to try and figure out something fun to do while I,m down there. Maybe I,ll eat some food. Maybe I,ll visit a friend. Maybe I,ll try to sell drawings outside of the MOMA. I think that,s how Michelangelo got his start. His full name was Michelangelo Jackson.

Thinking Of Names

I have a calendar full of pictures of Canadian golf courses in my kitchen. I picked the Canadian golf course one because it was really cheap and it wasn,t pictures of cars or people skiing. I cannot believe that ,,skiing,, is a real word. Two dotted letters in a row is out of control. It should be spelled ,,skeeing.,, Then you get three vowels in a row which is kind of rare and nice. I used to try and think of words with a lot of consonants in a row. I did that for years. The most I ever got was five in a row. I,m not going to tell you what the word is, though. You have to figure it out yourself.

Sam Amidon - Bright Sunny South My calendar is usually empty. I never have things to do. This month is weird and I have stuff written in a ton of the boxes. I don,t like it. Some of the things are cool, but most of them are dumb. The dumb things include stuff like going to work on my day off and the last day I have to clean my old apartment and getting up early. The cool things include hopefully getting money and going to a place to listen to music for two hours to get paid for it.

It isn,t a concert. Those usually are not cool. This might not be cool either, but I am get thirty dollars an hour for it. I have to go sit in a room and listen to music and say if I like it or not. An idiot called me and asked me if I listened to the radio and I lied and told him that I did and he said that since I am such a good listener, I could go listen to bad rock music and say that I don,t like it. It,s a product testing thing, I think. I am going to say that I love all the songs so they will invite me back every day. That,s my new job. This year is bringing about a lot of neat changes. First I was hospitalized for an internal rash and now this.

Bad Plugs

While I was eating lunch, I threw a piece of lettuce on the floor and laughed. That,s the best part about living on your own. You can throw leaves wherever you want and nobody will get mad at you except for yourself later when you step on the leaf and it,s squishy and kind of wet. You,ll be mad then, but you,ll remember how much fun you had throwing it on the floor of the apartment that you pay a lot of money for and it,ll all be worth it. The anger will fade and you,ll forget what you were thinking about. You,ll fall asleep and sweat all night.

Ramble Tamble - Twang Of The Void The other night I was supposed to work from three PM until eleven PM, but I thought it would be hilarious to work until one AM instead. I,m just joking, I didn,t really think it would be hilarious, but I couldn,t reach the guy that was supposed to come in and my new manager was sleeping through my phone calls. It was weird at first and then it got boring and then it got weirder because I was tired all day and staying up that late didn,t do anything good for me. My body is falling apart and that made it worse.

I,m going to try to sue my job for making my body not work. It,s not my fault for filling it with food that has no nutritional value for decades. It,s their fault for making me work two extra hours once. ,,Hours,, doesn,t look like a real word. It,s a French word. It,s French for ,,horse.,, They eat horse in France. They also eat horse here. I just found out that it,s legal to eat horse in America. I thought that it wasn,t. Apparently, it was illegal to kill them for human food, but that,s not even illegal anymore. I love this country.