Dude! It has been so long since that last delicious, nutritious article. My bad. Like anybody even reads this stuff.
You know how every Beast of Burden acts like they,re in a band or that they were at some time? I,m doing that now. I tell people that I meet that I,m in this really experimental (which just means lazy becauce everybody that uses that word to describe music just means that they never learned how to play an instrument so they just smash on one) band and we only use vegan instruments and stuff. The attention it is getting me is great. I have even started going to shows around here and saying that my band is playing. The bewildered goon standing behind the coffee counter with his sticky, Asian dreds always just tells me it,s not cool if my band plays. His breath smells like weed and sesame seeds so we play anyways.
When people get bummed and leave we make little speeches in between songs about how we just got done doing a split with some unheard of band that is way under the radar and cool. Then if the people still leave they get razzed by their friends for not knowing what the cool new trash is.
My band sort of sounds like John Mayer. But the good John May May, not that weak stuff where he sings about how gay George Bush is.
John Mayer - Room For Squares
Last night two of my band mates and I had a show. We went to our friends house just after he finished smoking weed and we danced all over him until he got mad and pushed us out of his room. He was being all mean and stuff. Boring. Then we took our show to the train tracks and 4-String (we also call him 4-Skin because he still has that flap of dick meat attached to him) the bass player, poopooed in some homeless guys bedding and wiped his gummy little plop opening with his underwear. He usually doesn,t wear any so it was his lucky day. It was one of our better shows.
Love,
Minor Threat Misfits Jaguars Black Flag
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