Actually Happening

I feel like I,m losing my brain. That,s usual, but right now it,s for a very specific reason. I have been looking for something so much lately. It,s consuming me. I haven,t started having dreams about it, but once I do, it,ll already be too late. I,ll be a goner. The little functioning bit in my head will be reduced to slimy mush. I can,t wait.

I,m looking for a house. I am definitely not looking to buy a house because I am not a millionaire or absolutely insane. I,m looking for a house to rent because as much as I really like my current smelly apartment, it would be nice to have a place that is a bit bigger and a whole lot quieter. My upstairs neighbor, who is generally very quiet, started playing reggaeton very early Christmas morning and hasn,t stopped yet. Also, I got a sweet little letter in the mail a while ago letting me know that my rent is going to go up next month. That,ll be fun.

Tenniscoats - Papa,s Ear I figured that I might as well spend a bit more money for a quieter place without any shared walls rather than pay more for no improvements whatsoever. One of my neighbors keeps yawning so frequently and with such power that I,m not completely convinced that he,s not ejaculating each time. It,s worrying and gross. Another one of my neighbors snores so loudly that it sounds like I,m sharing a bed with them.

All I do all day is scour the earth,s internet for small house in a part of town that isn,t super gnarly that I can afford. It,s proving to be quite the white whale. I thought I had found one, but I never got any responses to my numerous emails and when I went and looked at the house, the back door had been kicked in. This meant that I was able to walk around and touch things in there without anybody,s permission, but it may also mean that the owner and/or previous tenants were murdered to death. Who knows?