Secret Ten Dollars

I can,t believe I haven,t been super sick yet this year. I know the year only started a few days ago, but I usually get sick in the winter. The only hypothesis that I have to account for my boosted immunity is that I have been eating a gross amount of mandarins for the past two months. I just went and bought ten more pounds today. A few weeks ago I picked myself twenty pounds.

I have been eating almost ten pounds of mandarins a week. My left thumb nail, or my peeling nail as I like to call it, it permanently stained a gross yellow-orange. My feces are almost completely composed of the white inner skin that mandarins have. You know, the dumb part of the mandarin that lives between the peel and the fruit. I hate that part. Sometimes I am too lazy to pluck it all off of the wedges so I end up eating it. That is the only thing that I have eaten that makes it all the way through my body. The rest is just juice and the juice doesn,t come out of that hole.
Slim Whitman - Rose Marie
My New Year,s resolution is to tie everything in with X-Men. It is going to be very difficult because I know almost nothing about them, but I think I can do it now by saying that Wolverine had a strong immune system. Maybe he just couldn,t die. I don,t know but I am still counting this as an effective tie in. What if actually mentioned X-Men in every one of these this year? It would matter as much if I mentioned anything because the only people who might be reading this were accidentally directed here in their search for baby erections or pierced butt holes.

I almost never look at the statistics for this thing, but I did before I wrote this and some of the keywords that were searched that lead people here in the last week included Baby boner, Sex movies, ,,Woman peed all over,,, Apples and bullets, and Spearmint candy. I,m glad that I am still regularly writing this thing. The good Lord knows that I don,t do it for myself. I do it with the hope that people will accidentally read it and it will make them mad that they wasted their time.