Thicker Paper

Today is Valentine,s Day and I just pooped. That,s how I am celebrating this year. Maybe later tonight I will go to a Mexican restaurant and get more diarrhea fuel. I think it would be pretty cool if a Mexican restaurant was called Diarrhea Fuel. That would be really gutsy and to the point, you know? I like that in an eating establishment. They have nothing to hide.

The other night I went to a Chinese restaurant that was pretty cheap. At first I thought that it wasn,t that cheap because I saw that they had tables and chairs and decorations on the wall but that was before I went inside. The floor was really dirty. That let me know that it couldn,t be that expensive. There were bits of paper and old food all over the floor and nobody seemed to mind. That,s another cool thing more restaurants should do.

Arthur Russell - World Of Echo
You can tell a lot about a restaurant by how much garbage is piled on the floor. After seeing all of that trash I didn,t even need a menu. I knew what they served, how much it was, how bad it was going to be, and what kind of havoc it was going to wreak on my bowels. Paying attention the the amount and type of trash on the floor can really help you save time and money when you,re out to eat.

I wonder if there are any restaurants where they kill all of the animals right before you eat them. That would probably take a long time. I bet there is a lot of work involved with cutting a hog,s head off and scooping out the guts and babies and bones and washing everything and then cooking it. It would take way too long to get your food. I don,t think anybody would want to wait that long just to be able to hear a gross pig getting killed for their lunch. This was a bad idea. I won,t start a restaurant like that.