So the other day I made oatmeal for the first time in like 12 years. Actually, probably like 15 years. Maybe more. I have had it in my mind that oatmeal is gross for a long time. Probably because it looks like it came out of a sick baby that has a wasting disease or something. It looks gross and smells like warm dicks.
As we all know, I often visit my beloved Food Bank so I can continue living. I just love the people that congregate there. A little known fact is that places such as the great Bank are built on three basic pillars:
1. A complete misunderstanding of language and it,s uses by the proud patrons of said social service organizations
2. Oatmeal
3. Really hard bread with fun blue spots on it
It is the second of these three pillars which renewed my interest in the hot breakfast treat.
I still have between 8 and 15 bags of instant oatmeal in my apartment. Luckily a visiting friend has agreed to eat them all in turn for me getting my balls tattooed like kiwis. I did try and make some of the yellow slop though, you know, just for self-flagellation. It was exactly as I had expected. I figure it tastes very similar to the stuff that comes out of a woman after the baby comes out. So it was a good experience.
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