This Is About You

Last night I went to a dumb show that was too expensive and too far away. I learned that I will not be stupid enough to pay to watch some German idiot stand behind two computers and take the hi-hat in and out of a song for and hour an a half again. Shame on me. The place was filled with people that had bowl cuts. I guess that,s the new cool thing for lesbians. Some horrible trollop that looked like a homeless version of Prince kept slashing her ugly head around and whipping her three long turd braids all over the place. She smelled like a dead elk,s dick. The best part of the night was the excitement I kept feeling every time I would fall asleep driving home. It,s always fun to wake up in a lane you weren,t in a minute ago.

I was late for work today because I am a baby and didn,t get enough sleep. That means I,m going without a shower or change of socks or brushing my teeth with toothpaste right now. It,s going to be a great day. Now it,s raining outside and I don,t have and breakfast-style foods here so I,m going to have to eat Mexican pasta at nine in the morning.

Heavy Heavy Low Low - Hospital Bomber
I slept in a forest the other night. On the way there I stopped at a gross pizza restaurant called House of Pizza. I will give them credit for the name though. Such little thought and effort going into a business venture always makes me happy. I used the bathroom there, which took me eight minutes to figure out. The light switch was on the outside. Inside the bathroom there was a weird sign that still perplexes me. It said, ,,Country Fences Need To Be Horse High, Pig Tight And Bull Strong.,,

I understand the wisdom that the sign was conveying; it,s just a good bit of information for people that are looking to build a fence in the country. But I don,t understand why the proprietor of that awful pizza restaurant would want to present that information to customers when they are pretending to wash their hands after smearing diarrhea all over a small square of paper. Maybe that,s when people are most contemplative. I,m not. I,m just trying to get the brown and the blood out from under my fingernails.