Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Grill Your Ram

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I am horrible. I just farted and it smells like a kind,s playground. I quit using Chapstick a while ago and my lips feel, look, and taste like worms on a July sidewalk. It,s awful. Now I know what people felt like in Auschwitz. I don,t know when it is supposed to go away. Does everybody use Chapstick all the time? If you quit using it do your lips remain disgusting and shriveled and bloody for the rest of your life? I have all of these unanswered questions and I can,t find a support group anywhere. I would start one but I would set a very bad example by having a set of lips that looked like grilled chicken penises.
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Max Tundra - Which Song Single/QY20 Songs EP

I may have to get surgery if this problem doesn,t fix itself. I think people do that all the time. Celebrities do. They can afford to stop using Chapstick and get reconstructive surgery to inject life back into those chalky gummies. If I eat anything with salt I scream out in pain. Hot stuff is out of the question. I have been living on gruel and powdered milk that I have been snorting. I could probably eat ground up stuff through a straw so it would bypass my festering sores. I feel like it is going to spread through the inside of my body and I am going to have chapped guts. Millions of people die from that every year.

I would get a lip transplant with somebody. I would flip them upside down though. I am tired of having a fat, swollen bottom lip. My top teeth aren,t as insulated. It,s their time to shine. I would try and get two top lips so I could never close my mouth. I knew a kid who looked like he had two top lips. He always pissed me off.

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