I Really Like That Picture

I have been using the word ,,gimmick,, a lot lately. Actually, I have been misusing it. I have been telling people that ______ is their new gimmick but instead of citing a real gimmick, I just mention a characteristic about them or something that they are doing right then. My roommate combs his hair so his new gimmick is combing his hair. I am attracted to fat girls so that,s my new gimmick. My other roommate has a sharp nose and wears black and got some free bread at three this morning because he went to a bread factory to get a job and apparently he gets paid in hot dog buns so that,s his new gimmick. My new gimmick is saying, ,,Your new gimmick,,. How annoying is this to read? I can,t even imagine how bad it is for people that have to live in the same filthy box as me.

There is a dead worm stuck to the bathroom floor right now. I saw it worming around the other morning on the windowsill before I took a shower. That worm saw my worm. That,s its new gimmick. I don,t understand how a worm could make it six feet up a wall and crawl through a tiny hole in a window. The only reasonable scenario I have come up with is that it was a tree-worm that got blown off of its branch home and landed perfectly on our bathroom window. The only problem is that I don,t think there is such thing as tree-worms. Apparently there is such thing as a Christmas Tree Worm but those look nothing like the one dried to my disgusting, pube covered bathroom floor.

Metronomy - The English Riviera
Another gimmick I have been dealing with lately is the toilet,s new gimmick of being covered in pubic hair all of the time. This is actually a very old gimmick. I know that it isn,t from me because I have been wearing the military cut down there for some time now (high and tight). My fake roommate says it,s not him because he ,,manscapes,,. I think he just likes saying that word. That,s his new gimmick. I believe him though because he is always having sex with pretty girls that seem like they like a trimmed rose. His penis is a rose. His hair is the leaves. My real roommate says that it isn,t him but it totally is. I don,t know why he won,t admit it. There is no shame in having a natural, tangled, greasy pile of curly hairs engulfing your wiener. Lord knows I,ve been there before.