Proven Eye

I went to a Halloween party the other night for under thirty minutes. I was surprised to only see one girl dressed up as the ballerina with black eyes from that movie called The Ballerina With Black Eyes. Everybody was great. The living room was full of weird gangsters and the balcony was full of girls yelling. Somebody offered me a marijuana, that was nice of them. A group of girls asked me to take their picture and to make them feel more comfortable I started yelling instead of talking and I took their picture on two instead of three in hopes that they would all have their eyes closed.

The next night I went to a weirdo music performance that I paid thirty five dollars to see. The music was weird but the weirdest part was going from watching a girl dressed as a bear yell at some guy standing eighteen inches from her about how she always fails quizzes in all of her classes the night before to being surrounded by bummed out old people who were not into what was going on on stage. It was cool that some of them walked out. I always like it when my Death Cab For Cutie cover band plays and people walk out. Sometimes that,s the point but even when it,s not, it,s still nice to bother somebody so much by something that you make that they have to leave. People are usually lazy too so it really means a lot to me if I can compel somebody to use energy and effort to move their body away from mine.

Jimmy Wakely Trio - The Fabulous Jimmy Wakely Trio
I,m surprised that nobody has harassed me about dressing up today. I spent all year planning on what I would say when somebody asked me why I didn,t dress up for Halloween. If it happens, I,ll tell them that I,m dressed as a child molester because they can look just like you and me. It,s a didactic costume really. Also, there is always that slight chance that I would say that to somebody who was either molested as a child or is the parent of a child who has been molested and they will beat me up. Almost anything I do anymore is motivated by the hope that I will get punched in the face.

I guess I could also say that I,m dressed up as the photographic proof that Osama Bin Laden is dead. I,m not wearing a costume because there is no proof and he is really alive living just outside of Las Vegas counting his money.