Onion Ring

I work with a tiny Hispanic woman on the weekends. She cleans stuff with me. Actually, she cleans stuff and I sit. She doesn,t really speak any English and I don,t really speak any Spanish and it,s probably better that way. It,s always fun acting like I know what she,s talking about. I could just make up words when I,m talking to her and she would have no idea.

She,s older. She has kids. She treats me like a kid, which is completely fine. She brings me food. This last weekend she brought me a piece of bread one day and the next day she brought me a piece of fruit and a bean and cheese sandwich that she made. It was awesome. I had never thought of a bean sandwich, but now I think about them all the time. Beans are a good thing to put on or in other things. I usually put beans in soup when I make it. Three bean salad. That wasn,t a sentence.

Charles Dodge - Any Resemblance Is Purely Coincidental
I used to make beans on toast because I had heard English people mention it so often. That was alright. It,s sort of like a bean sandwich except it,s better if you,re really poor because you can just save the top bread for later and only use the bottom bread. That,s probably why they started doing that. The potato famine made it so all English people couldn,t put top breads on any of their bean sandwiches. That,s something they don,t teach you in school.

This Friday should be fun. It,s supposed to be my favorite day of the year. I,m going to drive to a place where I can get free mandarins. There,s nothing wrong with that. It,s supposed to rain, but there,s still nothing wrong with free mandarins. I love me a good tiny citrus fruit. The only thing that I am worried about is that I will end up getting a lot of the white, fibrous stuff from under the peel of the mandarins stuck in my beard and nobody will tell me about it because it,s always sort of weird to tell somebody they have stuff on their face for some reason.