No More Space

I am getting pretty tired of eating apples. That,s all I,ve been doing lately. I started out eating really gross apples and that was horrible. Now I,m eating kind of good apples, but it,s still not that fun. I don,t like eating apples because biting them sucks. The skin always gets in between my teeth and becomes razor sharp and cuts my sweet, little gums. I hate it. My mouth fills with blood and it makes the apples taste even worse.

That means that I have to cut apples and eat them in pieces which makes me feel like an old man or a baby - two things that I hate. That,s not true. I only hate one of those things. Cutting the apples is annoying though. A food that is that boring should require no preparation. I should be able to eat the entire thing in one bite and not make any mess and still receive all nutritional benefits. Unfortunately, that,s just not the case.

D,Angelo - Voodoo The only upside of eating one thousand apples a day is that I finally have an excuse to use the stupid knife that I have kept in my backpack since high school. The only other time I can remember using it was when I was at a park when I was a kid and I used the screwdriver part to take a sign off of a post. Talk about punk. Nothing is more punk than taking down a sign from a pole and probably throwing it away or something. I don,t remember what I did with the sign. I may have been taking it down for a friend. I don,t know. All I can remember is how much I don,t like eating apples.