Not One Bit

Whoops. I try to write four of these dumb things each month, but I guess I only wrote three last month. I will go ahead and blame that on being busy, but it,s not really true. I,ve only been busy this week and this week has been in this month, not last month, so I have no excuse. I,m just lazy and forgetful and my life is so uneventful and uninteresting that it,s really, really hard to think of trash to write about on here four times each month.

I was supposed to write about Halloween after it happened, but that would have been this month anyway since Halloween only lasts for the very last second of October. During that last second of October, I went to a terrible bar filled with terrible people who looked terrible. They were covered in dirt and fake hair and there were so many of them. I went there with friends and they all got up at the same time to go do whatever people who go to bars like to do and I was left sitting by myself at a table in an incredibly crowded bar on Halloween. That,s when one of my coworkers came in and noticed me.

Color Dream - Darkslide On The Moon He approached me and asked me what I was looking at. I guess I was staring longingly at a dark corner where extra tables were stacked. I told him that I didn,t know what I was looking at. He looked kind of sad and concerned for a second and then he asked me if I was there by myself. I could tell by his tone that he was worried about me. He was worried about me in the way that anybody who saw somebody sitting by themselves at a table in a crowded bar on Halloween would be worried. He was worried about what terrible things I must have been plotting. He was worried about what I would do to myself once I got home.

I wasn,t wearing a costume. I was just sitting there - silent, without a drink, without any food, without any company. I was sitting and staring at a stack of extra tables in the corner of the bar. The tables were small and circular. One was standing normally and another was upside down on top of it. This meant that the bottom of the table on top was visible for all to see. It was covered in gum. There were so many pieces of chewed gum stuck to it. I have only ever seen more chewed gum in one place one other time. It was by the ocean.