Wafts The Wind On My Hair

Filling out the paperwork to get a restraining order is way too hard. You have to know pertinent details about the person that you want to stop verbally molesting you. Stuff like their whole name, their real name, how tall they are, their address, and you have to check a box for how you are acquainted with the person.

All of this is really difficult when you have only ever hung out with the greasy-haired person in question like 6 times and all of the weird, cryptic emails you have ever received from them use different names and purposefully spell things wrong in a strange attempt to stick it to the man (the grammar-and-spelling-man that is). You go grrrl. This combination of misinformation and weird quotes like, ,,He and I have been in a relationship since June.,, makes for an interesting story to tell the piece of paper you,re filling out.

Pissed Jeans - Shallow
The thing that really made me do all of this fun legal paperwork was that this creeper once sent me an email saying that she seriously considered jumping the fence around my apartment to get inside when I wouldn,t open the door once because I was sick or sleeping or something. Well, that and when she barged into my house and kept turning all of the lights on and off, I hate that. Well, that and the fact the we were in a relationship for several months and she didn,t even bother to tell me. How was I supposed to draw her a weird picture of swirls with tape all over it for our two and a half month anniversary? Well, that and the fact that she called me fifty-something times in one day. Well, that and the fact that her emails are way too long. Well, that and the fact that she would make videos that were just a single shot with nothing moving for nine minutes. Just take a picture and look at it for nine minutes and you won,t even need to get your computer out or edit anything. Doi. Well, that and the fact that once, last Summer, when I was really sick she came over and when I told her I just wanted to sleep so I wouldn,t die she decided to just wait in the living room as I lay sweating and utterly terrified that she was sneaking around outside to peek through my window and watch me being scared and wet. Well, that and this other time I was at a rich girl,s party watching people drink wine right out of the bottle and enjoying myself when my sweet little roommate called me and told me that the creeper had come over and that he was going to bed and that she said she was just going to wait there. So I said goodnight to roomie and hung out at the party for a good while longer hoping that when I got home she would understand that it was two in the morning and that I had to work at seven and she would be long gone. Of course she was not. She was there. Sitting ever so quietly on the couch. So I had to sit with her for an hour or something before I told her I was going to sleep so I didn,t die. That,s what really did it. It just kept coming down to the fact that when I was around her I would sleep so I wouldn,t die.

I can,t wait until she reads this.