My Headshots Are Not For Sale

I went to Blockbuster yesterday. It was shutting down because it is so horrible and everything was for sale for only twice what it is worth rather than the standard 115 times as much. It looked like the 9th Ward and 9/11 got together and gang raped the Branch Davidians compound while Jim Jones indulged in auto-erotic asphyxiation and collapsed onto a pile of dead Haitians and oppressed Middle Eastern women. The shelves were pretty much barren save one hundred copies of the great new film starring the talented Megan Fox. She is truly a beacon of artistic integrity in a sewer system clogged with actors who are willing to do anything for a fast buck and the cover of Public Boner Magazine. Not Megan though, she is the Max Von Sydow, the Emil Jannings of our time.

Yeah right. There wouldn,t be any copies of movies with that moron in it left. They would have been eagerly snatched by the hairy-palmed employees of the place. I think all that was really left on the shelves were weird horror movies made within the last 18 months about chainsaws and girls coming out of televisions sets. Groundbreaking.

Tigrean People,s Liberation Front - Tigray 90, Tigrean Revolutionary Songs no 26
It was weird looking though. Everybody working there seemed confused and apathetic; sort of like the store was shutting down soon and they would be out of a job. There was some guy that had a copy of The Last Samurai in each hand, screaming into a phone that was probably just an old 9-volt battery, dragging a shivering dog around. There was some tiny blond women, mid twenties, perfect in every way, talking way too loud about how she didn,t care if he got married. She would ruin that goddamned wedding. She didn,t care. There was also a tall black man in an electric wheelchair. He was the bell of the ball.

It was gross. After I left, my hands felt like I had been digging through old cat litter. The young lady that rung me up had her eyebrow pierced but the crooked metal bar protruding from her face was only capped on one end so she had to keep checking to see if it was still there. She thought it might fall out. I bet it fell into her soup later.