Quiet Songs And Louder Songs

So that dot in my eye is there to stay. At least that,s what the Asian optometrist told me today. She said she has one too but her,s is a ribbon instead of a dot. I didn,t care. She poured some piss in my eyes and I kept laughing. She then tried to poke my eye with a weird, blue, light-wand but I wouldn,t let her. I had to read really small letters and I know I got some wrong but she just kept saying, ,,Good!,, after everything. Do they teach you to say that all the time in optometrist school? She went to school in Massachusetts. I know that because she stepped out at one point and I immediately inspected her credentials she had nailed to the wall hoping that she would be some scam artist trying to steal my ten dollars and blind me. No such luck

I don,t know how to spell Massachusetts. I always spell it Massachusettes, like cigarettes. That,s probably because cigarettes were invented there. Sometimes when I am actually writing, you know, on paper, I spell ,,with,, withe. I,ll never figure that one out. Apparently withe is a real word. It means a tough but supple twig. Looks like my peepee just got a new name. Baby Withe at your service.

Zach Hill - Face Tat
I can,t imagine ever having a reason to call my horrible wiener anything. I try to have as little to do with it as possible. Most of the time, when I,m peeing at my house, I flush the toilet before I,m finished and try to blast out the last bit of it before the water is all gone. I wish that were a sport. No, I wish that were something that people bet on. Like televised piss versus toilet flush matches playing in casinos. Whenever I start up Small Pox Blanket Indian Casino that,ll be one of the games.

My head has hurt all day. I think I,m sick but it might be from the poison that the Asian lady put in my eyes. One of my pupils was way bigger than the other which means she also gave me a concussion. She did give me a neat gift when I left though. It was pair of sunglasses that roll up and fit into a paper tube. They,re called ROLLenses. They,re pretty great and I,m saving them for a special occasion.