Tons Of Covers

I almost wasted so much money the other day. I'm trying to save some because all I ever do is break computers and buy new ones so it,s about time I do that again. I was going to get some dumb keyboard that I would never use. It was on Eggslist and it was a good deal so I figured that when I realized that I don,t know how to play any instruments I could just sell it to some white kid that wants to make rap music beats.

I drove way too far and got lost a million times and had a bad attitude by the time I got to the guy's house who was selling it. He was this fat pig with a pubic beard dangling off of his chin and an armband of pot leaves and red flowers tattooed on him. He said his name was Robzilla. At first he didn,t want me to go inside so he brought it outside to show me it worked. Of course it didn,t work at all so we eventually went inside to try and figure out why.

Things got weird for a minute and I thought I was about to get rape-killed. The house was almost completely empty except for two malnourished dogs screaming in a tiny cage in the kitchen. Everything smelled like weed. We went back to his bedroom and some girl was in there. Before I went in he told me to wait a second and I heard him tell her to put some underwear on. She was a potbellied stick of a creature.

Mirah - The Old Days Feeling
He couldn,t find whatever imaginary component he was looking for in his room so he went some place else to try and invent it. She stayed in there with me. Her glistening, pockmarked face looking all the more ghastly in the light from the screensaver of pictures of Ibanez guitars. On a desk was a soiled, makeshift bong and a blown glass pipe featuring a twisted colorful design. The walls were lime green and bare with the exception of two wooden ghosts and a very large Bob Marley poster. She had been watching ghost hunters before I came in.

While Robzilla rummaged elsewhere, the skinny, acne-faced woman kept whispering to me that he was going to kill her for losing whatever he was looking for. She kept saying it over and over. She,s probably long dead by now.

He finally came back and smoked weed in front of me and kept trying to prove to me that the keyboard worked. It didn,t. Some more weird stuff happened involving him sweating all over inside my car and stinking it up and yelling at a guy working at RadioShack.