Last Minute

It,s Spring. Spring is mostly dumb and it is probably my least favorite season. That,s mainly because it is the worst time in the world for allergies. It,s windy and the air is so thick with pollen and other plant dusts that it almost looks like smog. I wake up with a burning throat every morning and I have a rash on the entire inside of my body. Actually, it,s not even that bad this year because last year I had a meltdown and decided to start taking antihistamines daily. My life has been very different since then. I don,t want to constantly die. That,s the main difference.

You,re supposed to clean this time of year for some reason. You should probably clean at least once during every season, but that is not what those Washington big wigs want you to think. They only want you to clean once each year and they want you to do it right now. I did it today. I didn,t do a good job because I never do a good job when I,m cleaning my own stuff. It is only slightly less dirty than it was yesterday and it will be just as dirty or dirtier within forty-eight hours.

Stephen Steinbrink - I Drew A Picture The only good part about spring is that I get to plant stuff. I bought some cool seeds a few weeks ago and a watering can since my apartment building is almost constantly out of water. I also bought one of those big spoons that you use for moving dirt. I planted my cool seeds and then left for a week so I couldn,t water them so nothing grew. Then I stopped being stupid and replanted them and watered every day and now some little leaves exist where before there was only bare earth and cat diarrhea.

I also found some dead green onions at my work and I brought them home and put them in a glass of water and they have grown so spectacularly that I am terrified that they will soon become sentient. Maybe they already have. Maybe they see the horrendous things that I do when I think nobody is looking. Onions are the nosiest of all plants.