Staying Inside

I,m working from home right now. I don,t really like working from home. I don,t like getting yelled at on my own couch. What I do like is getting paid to eat cereal. I haven,t done that in a while. I mean, I did it a few minutes ago, but I hadn,t done it in a while before then. I also like getting paid to shower the poop off of my body after an especially gnarly turd session as well as getting paid to take small naps.

If I do a push-up today, that means that I,ll be getting paid while I do it which means that I will be a professional push-upper. A professional work outer? What is that called? I,ll be a professional body builder. I plan on spending much of my day trying to figure out new things I can do while getting paid.

Sam Amidon - Folkadelphia Session Maybe I,ll watch a movie. I don,t think I,ve ever been paid to do that. I can finally put my useful, practical degree to use. My dad will be so proud. He won,t be proud if I explain to him exactly why I was getting paid while watching a movie, but the details aren,t necessary and anybody who isn,t me is constantly on a need to know basis with all information that I have in my wounded brain.

Maybe I,ll try to go through everything I own and figure out which things I need and which I don,t. Then, I,ll throw away everything I don,t need or want while getting paid. That,s how I,ll become a professional garbage man. I don,t need the city to hire me. I can throw away my own precious memories while I,m on the clock.