I Overcooked The Noodles

I keep stumbling upon sweet, golden gems on the vast mystical expanse of the internet. More specifically, I keep finding these strange, poorly written blogs that all too often feature me as the focal point. Now, it goes without saying that all of these blawgs shine a very negative light on me. As they should. But the stories, or more realistically, the pseudo feelings about me are pretty bizarre. They are sometimes so nonsensical that I question if it is really not about me but about somebody else with the same name as me who looks the same who knows the same people and who lives in my ugly apartment.

I can understand a hatred or rage towards me. That,s all legitimate. I can,t understand all the stuff that I read that are vague memories of things that never happened involving myself and the author. It,s always stuff about us spending a lot of time together and having the greatest time ever. First, I don,t have a good time with anybody. Second, I don,t spend time with anybody. They write about me like I am an actual person that has feelings or considers anybody else’s. It really weirds me out.

Klimek - Movies Is Magic
I mean, I enjoy the attention. I,m starting to get even more full of myself than I already was. I just can,t figure out where these stories are coming from. It,s making me think that I have that rare disease where I make certain people hallucinate when they are around me. I forget what it,s called but I think it can be pretty serious. Jesus had it. Hitler had it. I think I am the new Hitler-Jesus. Thus the prophecy has been fulfilled and it is all thanks to the literary masterpieces floating about the pages of boogle.com like shrimp-sized pieces of diarrhea.